Many people who care for the elderly do not have enough time to look after them? What are the problems related to this? What are some possible solutions?
In
the
cutting-edge society, there is not enough Correct article usage
a
time
to take care
of old people
. The roots
cause for Fix the agreement mistake
root
this
is the elderly are neglected and pressure
. Wrong verb form
pressured
However
, it can be dealt with by flexible hours.
The principle
cause of Correct your spelling
principal
this
problem is young residents tend to ignore older inhabitant’s
demands. It should be acknowledged that numerous individuals cannot adapt or respond instantly to Change noun form
inhabitants
requirements
of the elderly. Correct article usage
the requirements
This
situation stems from young residents have
to concentrate on work and enhance relationships Wrong verb form
having
in
the public. Change preposition
with
Consequently
, many dwellers have a tendency to neglect or look after the elderly carelessly. This
is true in Japan, where most citizens ignore their parents frequently in order to have more time
for entertainment and work
Another point worth considering is that the employees are pressed by the owner leading to little time
of
taking Change preposition
for
care
the
elderly. It must be noted that Change preposition
of the
people
complicatedly care
for older individuals due to
workload and busy working schedules. As a result
, people
who are over the hill may be not receive
any Change the verb form
not receive
cares
from the young. Take Vietnam Fix the agreement mistake
care
for instance
, where residents are required to accomplish numerous challenging tasks, deadlines
punctually to alleviate pressure and stress from the workplace.
Correct word choice
and deadlines
However
, a measure can be found by
flexibility between working and caring. The most effective method is for individuals Change preposition
in
rearrange
their timetable or the following events and spend more Fix the infinitive
to rearrange
time
staying with the elderly. As a consequence
, there are not only the elderly who will not be ignored, but also
the labor
can ease pressure and stress at companies. Take the US as an example for Change the spelling
labour
this
circumstance, government
supports inhabitants by reducing working hours with the purpose of having more Add an article
the government
time
which can be utilized to care
for the elderly.
In conclusion, lack
of hours used for looking after older Correct article usage
the lack
people
results from overlooking the elderly and working stress. Fortunately, it can be tackled by utilizing time
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task achievement
The essay generally addresses the prompt, but it could be more focused. Try to ensure each paragraph clearly addresses a specific part of the prompt: problems and solutions. This will help improve clarity and structure.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical flow, but some sentences are difficult to understand. Simplifying your sentence structure and avoiding overly complex or convoluted phrasing would help improve readability and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Incorporate some linking words and phrases to enhance the cohesion between sentences and paragraphs. This will make the essay flow more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the discussion well.
task achievement
Specific examples from Japan, Vietnam, and the US are used to support the arguments, which adds credibility and relevance to the points made.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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