Nowadays young people prefer to move to big cities, older people, however are the opposite and prefer to live in the countryside. What are the positives and negatives of this trend?

#people #move #cities #countryside #positives #negatives #trend

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The older people tend to spend their lives in the villages but the younger populace migrate to metropolises. Its resulting outcomes may affect them in a positive or a negative way.

This

essay will evaluate both to explore more about the effects of

this

trend. When the youth move from the countryside to the cities, they enable themselves to discover more opportunities. Their career gets a new leverage when they are able to grab jobs in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

major industries. They get a

hands on

Add a hyphen

hands-on

show examples

experience to build their personal

life

along with

the boost from professional

life

. It helps their country to utilize the hidden potential of their remote areas.

For example

, many college graduates make a decision

of moving

Change preposition

to move

show examples

out of their village when they are offered a bigger opportunity to work in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Sillicon

Correct your spelling

Silicon

valley even if

its

Replace the word

it's

it is

show examples

Remove the article

apply

show examples

another country. It not only helps them to grow but

also

they are able to invent something new.

On the contrary

, the older parents and grandparents of the youth live in solitude in villages. So, it leaves them in a depressive situation where they are not able to

get

Verb problem

take

show examples

care of their loved ones who live too far away. They can only communicate

them

Change preposition

with them

show examples

by calling which does not help them to take a sigh of relief. To exemplify, many aged parents living in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

solitary areas suffer from diseases and they need

continuous

Correct word choice

emotional

show examples

support emotionally to live a peaceful

life

Therefore

, it is difficult to live in

such

tough situations which is a bad aspect of

this

trend. In conclusion, exploring uncharted territories offers

rewarding

Correct article usage

a rewarding

show examples

professional

life

however

it has a downside too.

While

kids are away in the pursuit of their dreams they leave behind their lonely parents who need their support to spend their free time.

Thus

, it could

also

distract a person away from home. Ergo,

this

trend comes with both upsides and downsides.

Submitted by Kiran on Mon Jun 10 2024

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task response

Try to enhance the introduction by providing a more elaborate background and directly stating the positives and negatives to be discussed. This makes the essay structure clearer from the start.

task response

Ensure that each paragraph, especially the body paragraphs, clearly supports and elaborates on the introduced point by offering a strong example or additional information. For instance, instead of using vague terms like 'bigger opportunity,' specify what these opportunities might be.

coherence cohesion

To improve coherence, consider using more varied connecting words and phrases between sentences and paragraphs. Phrases like 'On one hand,' 'Additionally,' and 'Nevertheless' can enhance the logical flow of your arguments.

task response

The essay provides relevant and specific examples, such as college graduates moving to Silicon Valley, which makes the arguments more concrete and relatable.

coherence cohesion

Logical structure is well-maintained throughout the essay. The introduction sets up the discussion effectively and the conclusion nicely summarizes the points made.

coherence cohesion

The main points are effectively supported. For instance, the professional growth and emotional neglect aspects are well discussed with appropriate examples and ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

320 words

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Nowadays young people prefer to move to big cities, older people, however are the opposite and prefer to live in the countryside. What are the positives and negatives of this trend?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

“Scientists believe that in order to protect the environment, people must use less energy in their daily lives. However, most people have not changed the way they live. Why do you think many people ? What could be done to encourage them to take action?

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. Discuss the benefits of this development and problems associated with it.

Some people think women should be given equal chances to work and excel in their careers. Others believe that a woman's role should be limited to taking care of the house and children. Which opinion do you agree with and why? Include specific details and examples to support your choice

In many countries, governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government university?

The plans below show the layout of a university's sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.