IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people choose to eat no meat or fish. They believe that this is not only better for their own health but also benefits the world as a whole. Discuss this view and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #meat #fish #health #world
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Some
people
Use synonyms
 claim that if they
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 eat
meat
Use synonyms
 or fish , they are
Use synonyms
health
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
 , they think it is better for
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
also
Linking Words
.But my experience is different with
this
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 idea and I disagree
compeletly
Correct your spelling
completely
. I will explain
this
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 issue and my own opinion. The majority of
people
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think
Add the particle
think to
show examples
 avoid of eating
meat
Use synonyms
 is beneficial for their
health
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 as it
reduce
Change the verb form
reduces
show examples
 their
cholostrol
Correct your spelling
cholesterol
. There are many
people
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 that are high
weight
Change preposition
in weight
show examples
 in the world that
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
do not eat any
meat
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 ,
such
Linking Words
 as fish and chicken.They eat vegetarian
instead
Linking Words
 of
meat
Use synonyms
 and they believe plants are an
Correct your spelling
exceptionally
exceptionaly
Correct your spelling
exceptionally
 good alternative
Change preposition
to
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
meat
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 they think
this
Linking Words
tenchniqe
Correct your spelling
technique
 is useful for
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 and
ecosystem
Correct article usage
the ecosystem
show examples
 in the world.
Hence
Linking Words
 , it causes animals get remain and continue their lives in a natural cycle.
As if
Correct word choice
If
show examples
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
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 vanish ,
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 will
Add a missing verb
be distrubt
show examples
distrubt
Correct your spelling
distribute
disrupt
 as soon as possible.
Although
Linking Words
 almost most of meats are full of fat , all of us need those because of energy and
portein
Correct your spelling
protein
.
Aviding
Correct your spelling
Avoiding
 to eat any
meat
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 leads to
healthy
Replace the word
health
show examples
 problems. In my experience , all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
food
Add an article
the food
show examples
 to illustrate ,
meat
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 , vegetarian and protein are essential for our body.
Last
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 year I decided to avoid
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
meat
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
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 after a few
times
Add a comma
times,
show examples
 I got weak and I spent two weeks in the hospital.since my
portein
Correct your spelling
protein
portion
 of body.
on the other hand
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, I am addicted to
meat
Use synonyms
 and it
affected
Wrong verb form
affects
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
me in terms of psychology. I found every food is important and if
people
Use synonyms
 eat enough , there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 no
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
problems. In the
mean time
Correct your spelling
meantime
show examples
,
people
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 can burn extra fat in their bodies with exercise after eating
meat
Use synonyms
.
To sum up
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 ,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 group of
people
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 believe
meat
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 causes
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health's
Change noun form
health
show examples
 problems but In my notion
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
meat
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 is crucial like
another foods
Replace the adjective
another food
other foods
show examples
 for
aur
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
health
Use synonyms
 under conditions ,
such
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 as
eat
Wrong verb form
eating
show examples
 enough
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 suitable time.
Submitted by rastaebrahimifar on

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task achievement
Work on writing clearer and more comprehensive ideas by elaborating on your points. This can help make your argument stronger.
task achievement
Try to include more detailed and relevant examples from your own experience, or cite credible sources to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your sentences are grammatically correct. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and verb tenses. Proper grammar enhances clarity and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of your essay by organizing your paragraphs better. Make sure each paragraph discusses one main idea and is well-connected to the next.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, framing your argument well.
task achievement
You provided a complete response to the task prompt, addressing the health and environmental aspects of avoiding meat and fish.
task achievement
Your writing shows a genuine engagement with the topic and offers personal insights, which makes your essay unique and interesting.
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