You have paid for a cricket course at a Sports Club, but due to a medical reason cannot complete the entire course. Write a letter to the course director. In your letter, explain your interest in the course describe your problems find out if a refund is possible

Dear Rohan, I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with the
deterioting
Correct your spelling
deteriorating
condition of the changing rooms at your
sport
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sports
show examples
complex. I am
premium
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a premium
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member at your facility and I have been using
this
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facility
faclity
Correct your spelling
facility
for 2 years, I have recently noticed that the standard of services offered in our complex
are
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is
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not up to the mark.First and foremost, The facility washrooms are unfit for use and not
getting
Verb problem
being
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maintained regularly, the condition of
washrooms
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the washrooms
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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very unpleasant and most of them are clogged because of hairs or soggy paper towels.
In addition
this
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to this
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, there are
also
some issues with many changing
rooms
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rooms'
room's
show examples
door
lock
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locks
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that I
also
see as a serious
pivacy
Correct your spelling
privacy
issue to people using these spaces for changing clothes. In past, I have made several attempts to resolve these issues with the on-site maintenance team.
First
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The first
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time they sent a cleaner to clean the washrooms.
However
, the situation became
same
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the same
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after
few
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a few
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days and we were left with the same issue even after
couple
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a couple
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of
remianders
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reminders
remainders
. Moving forward, I would like to suggest you
to
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apply
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set up a regular cleaning schedule and assign dedicated staff for it.I hope you will take my
feedbacks
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feedback
show examples
into consideration and take the appropriate steps to resolve
such
issues on priority in future, Yours sincerely, Sandeep
Submitted by sandeepniet17 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Although you have organized your letter into paragraphs, there are moments where sentences could be better connected. Consider using more cohesive devices and linking words to enhance the flow.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to ensure that each paragraph discusses a single, clear idea. This will improve readability and make your argument more compelling.
Task Achievement
You have appropriately addressed the task by explaining your dissatisfaction, providing examples of the issues, and suggesting a solution.
Task Achievement
The tone of your letter is respectful and formal, which is suitable for a complaint letter.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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