IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that it is good for a country’s culture to show imported foreign film and TV programmes. Others think that it is better to produce these locally. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #country’s #culture #show #film #tv #programmes
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It
Correct pronoun usage
One
show examples
 is an argument that the plot contained in
movies
Use synonyms
 should be imported from foreign
while
Linking Words
 the other assumes that it would have more benefits if using local programmes.
This
Linking Words
 writer will discuss both sides and reveal how imported
films
Use synonyms
 can benefit children and how many actors or directors who are related to the acting industry simultaneously with the local programme have a great impact on citizens. The primary values of local
films
Use synonyms
 are entertainment and education. It can be seen that many
internfilms
Correct your spelling
intern-films
 contain information or documentary about their culture or history. In the modern era, many schools invest in TVs or interaction whiteboards which support teaching via pictures and motivation in
films
Use synonyms
.
As a result
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, students can approach their lessons easier.
Moreover
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, watching
films
Use synonyms
 is
also
Linking Words
 a way to entertain
for
Change preposition
of
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 all ages people,
therefore
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, there will be more
demands
Fix the agreement mistake
demand
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 for the quality or quantity of
films
Use synonyms
 and it will lead to the development of
film
Correct article usage
the film
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 industry.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, watching imported foreign
movies
Use synonyms
 is a method to learn skills, effects or how they can produce
such
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 a good film. An impressive movie
constituted
Add a missing verb
is constituted
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 of many factors
such
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 as actors, actresses, skills, appearances or scenes. Take Hollywood Studios as an example, Hollywood
studio
Fix the agreement mistake
studios
show examples
 is a place where
publicizes
Verb problem
apply
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many
movies
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
become hot searches on the Internet and waste a lot of ink or papers
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the critics or
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
journalists.
In addition
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, watching foreign
movies
Use synonyms
 or programmes is helpful for children if they want to learn a new language. From my perspective, it both brings benefits for watchers. It would be better for a country's culture because many
films
Use synonyms
 show wars, gender distinguished or stage distinguished.
As a result
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, there will appear many arguments
force
Correct pronoun usage
that force
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 the country's authority to prevent that issue. In conclusion,
movies
Use synonyms
 from all over the world should be accepted to watch,
however
Linking Words
, they must be suitable for age, gender or plot. It can be known that the origin of the
films
Use synonyms
 is not as crucial as the plots they contain.

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task response
To strengthen the task achievement, make sure each point is clearly developed with detailed examples. This will help in providing a more complete response to the prompt.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, work on the logical flow between paragraphs. Use appropriate linking words to bridge ideas smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea which is supported by relevant examples or details. This will help in making your argument more persuasive and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively frame the discussion, aiding in comprehension.
task response
The writer addresses both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of different perspectives, which is crucial for a balanced discussion.
task response
The use of specific examples, such as Hollywood Studios, adds credibility to the arguments presented, even though they could be more detailed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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