IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that it is good for country's culture to import foreign movies and TV programmes. Others think that is better to produce these locally. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #country #culture #import #movies #tv #programmes
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In today's society, the issue of whether many foreign
films
 should be imported to bring
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
benefits
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
show examples
culture
 or produced domestic
film
Fix the agreement mistake
films
show examples
 has sparked a degree of controversy among
people
.
Although
 there are some feasible
benefits
 in producing local
films
due to
 patriotism, I argue that it is better to import foreign movies because of the connection to the world and
variety
Correct article usage
the variety
show examples
types
Change preposition
of types
show examples
 of
films
. It is vital to understand that local
films
 bring lots of
benefits
 to the
people
.
Firstly
, local
films
 are familiar
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the residents. In fact,
people
 could be attracted to many domestic TV
programmes
, which is conducive to the inspiration of producing local
films
.
Secondly
, because of the
country
's love,
people
 should support
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
local
films
. Much evidence indicates that many folks are likely to watch domestic
programmes
 rather than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foreign ones,
due to
 increasing views
as well as
 loving local
programmes
.To give you an idea
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
my father used to be a soldier, he has a passion for watching local news, which makes him unwind
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 daily basis. Notwithstanding, there are some merits in importing foreign movies
on
Change preposition
into
show examples
programmes
.
Firstly
,
people
 could approach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a variety types of
films
. In fact, many countries have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
specific
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
 that contribute to the film's
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
.
For instance
, Thailand is the
country
which
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 religion plays an important role in their
culture
, which results in a large number of religious
films
produced
Add a missing verb
being produced
show examples
.
Thus
, watchers could broaden their
horizon
Fix the agreement mistake
horizons
show examples
 of
culture
 through watching
films
.
Last
 but not least, because of the development of
film
Correct article usage
the film
show examples
 industry, there are many
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
films
 coming abroad. It is true that importing foreign
films
contribute
Correct subject-verb agreement
contributes
show examples
 to
enrich
Change the verb form
enriching
show examples
 the type of
films
, which has positive effects on watchers'
attitude
Fix the agreement mistake
attitudes
show examples
 towards
this
 sector. In conclusion, I would agree with those
argue
Correct pronoun usage
who argue
show examples
 that there are
benefits
 to
import
Wrong verb form
importing
show examples
 foreign
films
due to
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 variety of cultures
as well as
appeal
Correct article usage
the appeal
show examples
people
Change preposition
to people
show examples
 to watch rather than the
produce
Replace the word
production
show examples
 of local
films
 because of supportive
country
's economy
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coherence cohesion
Consider structuring your introduction more clearly. A strong introduction clearly outlines both views and presents your opinion succinctly. This makes it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single main point. This helps with maintaining a logical structure and ensures that your ideas are easy to follow.
task achievement
Provide more relevant specific examples and elaborations to support your main points. This will make your argument more persuasive and your essay more comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear and concise conclusion that summarizes the key points discussed and restates your opinion effectively.
coherence cohesion
You have included an introduction and conclusion, which creates a complete response to the essay prompt.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both views and clearly states your opinion. This shows a good understanding of the task requirements.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural exchange
  • enriches
  • diverse perspectives
  • storytelling methods
  • spur creativity
  • innovation
  • genres
  • styles
  • over-reliance
  • undermine
  • overshadow
  • cultural homogenization
  • national identity
  • local talent
  • linguistic relevance
  • relatable
  • accessible
  • domestic audience
  • preserve
  • cultural identity
  • promote
  • balanced approach
  • cultural landscape
What to do next:
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