In some countries, i is illegal for companies to reject job applicants for their age. Is this a positive or negative development?

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Nowadays, in several regions, it is said that legislation has been implemented to prevent companies from rejecting job applicants based on their

age

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. From my point of view,

this

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phenomenon offers lots of benefits for societies. It is obvious that there are many equal opportunities created from

this

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issue. Concerning the former, companies should provide their cities with a fair chance to compete for job positions in the present time.

Therefore

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, residents do not only have various choices for their occupations, but organizations can

also

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have potential talents of all ages.

Furthermore

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, encouraging to evaluate competition fairly by taking into account their qualifications and experiences rather than relying on their

age

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leads to being selected for career positions in

this

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organization.

In addition

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, one of the wide range of positive effects that enacting regulations to prevent rejecting competition based on

age

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brings is creating a diverse work environment.

Hence

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, it does not only foster creativity, innovations and productivity

Remove the comma

apply

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but

also

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assistance

Replace the word

assists

show examples

in the development of quality of a workforce that includes employees from distinctive

age

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groups and perspectives.

As a result

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, companies are more and more dynamic and collaborative. To cite an instance, many youngsters in Vietnam usually introduce and follow the latest trends, and advancements,

while

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older people

also

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share their experiences

while

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working.

Thus

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, it can enhance collaborative work environments without the differences between

age

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groups. In conclusion, in order to bring equal opportunities and a fair atmosphere of work, establishing legislation to prohibit organizations from rejecting job applicants based on their

age

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is a must in modern life.

Mon Jun 10 2024

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task response

Try to ensure that all points and ideas are directly linked to the essay question. Some sentences were slightly off-topic or not fully developed.

coherence cohesion

Maintain a clear logical progression throughout the essay. This will help in presenting your argument more effectively.

introduction conclusion present

The essay has a clear and effective introduction and conclusion, which help in framing the context of the argument.

supported main points

Most main points are well-supported with relevant examples, particularly about the impact on the workplace environment.

logical structure

The logical structure of the essay is strong, making it easy to follow the writer's line of reasoning.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

age diversity
combat age discrimination
job opportunities
experienced individuals
vast knowledge
suboptimal hiring decisions
legal compliance
reverse discrimination
operational costs
health insurance

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In some countries, i is illegal for companies to reject job applicants for their age. Is this a positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think children have the freedom to make mistakes, while other people believe that adults should prevent children from making mistakes. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

some children spend most of their free time, taking part in clubs and other plant activities to the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem?

Some people think that people commit crime because of poverty and social problems, while others think it is because of their bad nature. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? what can be done about this problem?