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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that it is good for a country's culture to import foreign movies and TV programmes. Others think that it is better to produce these locally. Discuss both views and give your opion.

#people #country #culture #import #movies #tv #programmes #opion
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In recent years,
movies
Use synonyms
 and TV programmes are become and become popular
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
spread over the world
therefore
Linking Words
, some individuals think that importing foreign
films
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 quite good for
Correct article usage
the coutry
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coutry
Correct your spelling
country
culture
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
others believe supporting to
produce
Replace the word
production
show examples
these
Change preposition
of these
show examples
 locally. The writer of
this
Linking Words
 essay
assume
Change the verb form
assumes
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
 foreign
movies
Use synonyms
 can bring a
lot
Use synonyms
 of better cultural values
then
Linking Words
, persuading the citizens to donate
local
Change preposition
to local
show examples
Use synonyms
film
Fix the agreement mistake
films
show examples
 to make producers get more
Correct your spelling
motivation
moltivation
Correct your spelling
motivated
 to produce and compete with others Nowadays, foreign
films
Use synonyms
 have a big impact and
make
Verb problem
play
show examples
a
Change the article
an
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 important role
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 human life.
Films
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 can provide many values about the
culture
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 of
Use synonyms
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
therefore
Linking Words
, the
country
Use synonyms
 which
importing
Wrong verb form
imports
show examples
Use synonyms
film
Fix the agreement mistake
films
show examples
 will get and improve their
culture
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 to make it more and more diverse.
Then
Linking Words
, offering
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
film
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help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
Use synonyms
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 to follow the improvement of
another
Replace the adjective
another country
other countries
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
 that produce
films
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, America is the strongest
country
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about
Change preposition
in
show examples
produces
Correct subject-verb agreement
produce
show examples
, many cultural values that they have given in their produce will show for some
countries
Use synonyms
 to experience and collect to develop backwards.
However
Linking Words
, supporting local
Use synonyms
film
Fix the agreement mistake
films
show examples
 is a good way
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the develop
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
country
Use synonyms
movies
Use synonyms
 and residents can introduce
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 cultural value of
Use synonyms
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 to other nations
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the world. If
local
Add an article
a local
the local
show examples
film
Use synonyms
 can attract a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
attentions
Fix the agreement mistake
attention
show examples
 from residents, the producer can succeed in the first step
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 persuading people in their
country
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 to experience
then
Linking Words
, it
make
Verb problem
This gives
show examples
 the producer
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a
lot
Use synonyms
 of motivation to make a big effort to produce the
film
Use synonyms
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a good quality to introduce to
another
Replace the adjective
another country
other countries
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
. In recent years,
VietNam
Correct your spelling
Vietnamese
films
Use synonyms
 are become and become developed by the enthusiastic
supporting
Replace the word
support
show examples
 from residents and the confidence to introduce
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
 foreign
countries
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,
such
Linking Words
 as Mai which
produced
Add a missing verb
was produced
show examples
 by Tran Thanh. In my opinion, updating new cultures or supporting local
films
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firstly
Linking Words
, the enthusiasm of the citizens to donate is quite important.
Secondly
Linking Words
, producing a
lot
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 of
films
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 that
relative
Add a missing verb
are relative
show examples
 to the
Use synonyms
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
culture
Use synonyms
 can attract the curiousness
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 audiences
make
Correct word choice
and make
show examples
 them
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
find and collect
this
Linking Words
culture
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
,
films
Use synonyms
 or TV programmes can introduce the
culture
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
country
Correct article usage
a country
show examples
 easily
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 do not waste
more
Correct quantifier usage
much
show examples
 time to find.
Then
Linking Words
, local
film
Use synonyms
 is the strong foothold for the
developed
Replace the word
development
show examples
 of
country
Use synonyms
movies
Use synonyms
.
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grammar
Work on sentence structure and grammar to ensure clear and effective communication. Phrases such as 'are become and become popular' should be corrected to 'are becoming more popular'.
examples
Provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, instead of mentioning 'Mai which produced by Tran Thanh', elaborate on why this example is relevant to the argument.
structure
Ensure that the essay is logically structured. The points should flow smoothly from one to the next, with clear transitions. For example, 'In recent years, VietNam films are become and become developed by the enthusiastic supporting from residents' could be better structured to explain the support and development in a clearer manner.
task response
The essay effectively addresses both views on the topic and provides a coherent opinion.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are clearly present, setting up the discussion well and summarizing the key points effectively.
examples
The essay shows a good attempt to include examples and expand upon the main points, which helps in making the argument more compelling.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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