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Band 6.5

The table below shows the proportion of income spent on 4 common items in the UK in 1998.

The table below shows the proportion of income spent on 4 common items in the UK in 1998.
#proportion #income #items #uk
Overall
, the chart shows that the
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 of the
food
 is more than other items with men and
women
.
However
, the
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 of the
food
 of the boys and the
girls
have
Verb problem
is
show examples
 almost less than the other items.
This
 means that the adults
care
 more about the
food
 than the children do. The
women
 and the
girls
 actually do not
care
 about the electric
equipment
 much. In the chart, the children have 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of the
food
, 23
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of electronic
equipment
, 39
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of the
music
, and 12
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
videos
. The boys have 9
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of the
food
, 18
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of electronic
equipment
, 38
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of the
music
, and 18
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
videos
Correct article usage
the videos
show examples
.
Moreover
, the
girls
 have 11
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
food
, 5
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 with electronic
equipment
,
40
Correct word choice
and 40
show examples
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the
music
, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
videos
.
This
 chart shows that the children, boys, and the
girls
care
 about other items more than the
food
. The adults have 25
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of the
food
, 5
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of electronic
equipment
, 5
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
music
 and 1
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
videos
. Men have 14
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of the
food
, 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of electronic
equipment
, 5
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
music
Add an article
the music
show examples
, and 2
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
videos
.
Women
 have 39
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of the
food
, 1
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of electronic
equipment
, 5
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
music
Add an article
the music
show examples
, and 0.5
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
videos
.
This
 shows that the adults, men and
women
care
 more about
food
 than the other
item
Fix the agreement mistake
items
show examples
.
Submitted by dondollaraus on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words percent, food, women, girls, care, equipment, music, videos with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
▼
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