IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The charts illustrate the number of people who were affected by four types of noise pollution in day and night in cities and rural areas in 2007.

The charts illustrate the number of people who were affected by four types of noise pollution in day and night in cities and rural areas in 2007.
#people #four #noise #pollution #night #cities #areas
The charts illustrate the number of
people
 who were affected by four types of noise pollution
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
day and night in
cities
 and rural
areas
 in 2007. The tendency that most
people
 are affected by traffic, followed by
train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
show examples
 and aircraft is the same in
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
.
Similarly
, the noises in the day seem more influential than those in the night both in
cities
 and rural
areas
.
On the other hand
, the frequency that
people
 are annoyed by them is almost double in
cities
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 in rural
areas
according to
 the numbers per million, which is 75 per million in
cities
 and 35 per million in rural
areas
.
In addition
, the number of
people
 annoyed by the noise from industrial companies
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 very little in
cities
whereas
 it is zero in rural
areas
. As a whole, more
people
 in
cities
 are influenced by
noises
Fix the agreement mistake
noise
show examples
 than in rural
areas
.
Submitted by kana_ayaki on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, cities, areas with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrate" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: