Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatifactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

While
a group of people think that it is great to
egnore
Correct your spelling
ignore
a hard
situation
like having a not
favoritable
Correct your spelling
favourable
favourite
job or not a
well paid
Add a hyphen
well-paid
show examples
one must not bear that, the other group say
taht
Correct your spelling
that
is better than not trying to
being
Change the verb
be
show examples
succsefull
Correct your spelling
successful
on it I believe rather group. Being
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the wrong
situation
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
some bad effect
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
everybody who are bear
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
firstly
, their motivation is getting less when they are doing something that they do not like
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
if a doctor had to
repaire
Correct your spelling
repair
a car, it would be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
so
disapointed
Correct your spelling
disappointed
.
Secoundly
Correct your spelling
Secondly
, the quality of the act that a person
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
not enjoying
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is not like a person who
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
enjoying
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the activity that
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
done.
Finally
,
stucking
Correct your spelling
sticking
in a
situation
that is
not
satisfiying
Correct your spelling
satisfying
can fade the self-confidence of
Correct article usage
a persons
show examples
persons
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
dramaticly
Correct your spelling
dramatically
.
On the other hand
, trying
for being
Change preposition
to be
show examples
the best in every
situation
of life can keep our
charastic
Correct your spelling
character
charismatic
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
a high level. When people have to manage some hard
situation
they will be able to level up on a lot of
visuals
Change the noun form
visual
show examples
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
that is
not the thing everyone
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
do it.
For example
, when someone is
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
unbelivable
Correct your spelling
unbelievable
place
that is
an accident
situation
and
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
not have any choices she or he must
be survive
Change the verb form
survive
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every dangerthings that are. So there is an
apportunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
to be the best version of yourself. In conclusion, everyone
have
Wrong verb form
has to
show examples
accept the
chalange
Correct your spelling
challenge
that is
happen for
Wrong verb form
happening
show examples
, maybe it was a
temprary
Correct your spelling
temporary
situation
and after that just know that
it
Correct pronoun usage
you
show examples
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
do every hard work.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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coherence and cohesion
It's important to spend some time planning your essay before you start writing to ensure your ideas are well-organized and your arguments are clear.
task achievement
Try to use specific examples that clearly illustrate your points. In the current essay, the examples were not always relevant or well-developed.
task achievement
Work on developing your ideas more fully. Explain your points in more detail to make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates an understanding of the essay question and addresses both perspectives.
coherence and cohesion
There is an attempt to present an introduction and a conclusion, which helps to give the essay a logical structure.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Accepting
  • Bad situation
  • Unsatisfactory job
  • Shortage of money
  • Complacency
  • Lack of motivation
  • Improvement
  • Personal growth
  • Development
  • Temporary relief
  • Long-term dissatisfaction
  • Effort
  • Determination
  • Proactive
  • Mindset
  • Appropriate
  • Changed
  • Opportunities
  • Fulfillment
  • Balancing
  • Well-being
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