Artists need an certain amounts of freedom to develop their creativity. Some people think that artists should gave total freedom to express any thought and ideas. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is true that
artists
require a large extent
liberty
Change preposition
of liberty
show examples
to support their creativity. Some people say that
artists
should need
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
full
freedom
in order to they can convey notions and thoughts. I strongly disagree with
this
statement because
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
full
liberty
can stimulate more
crime
and affect
society
.
This
essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons. To commence with,
artists
should not give a large extent of
freedom
because it stimulates more
crime
.
This
means artist should have some restrictions and limitations to express their ideas and thoughts
otherwise
they are the primary reason for increasing
crime
in
society
.
For example
, Miami is a
crime
based on books and it describes how
does
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
crime
without finding others,
consequently
, numerous youngsters may try and follow these.
Then
,
Artists
should not be given full
freedom
.
Moreover
, full free time of
artists
can destroy
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
in detrimental ways because their extreme expression and notions are not suitable for everyone. Some may affect and follow the wrong lead to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
as
artists
.
For instance
, music
artists
wears
Change the verb form
wear
show examples
nude
dress
Fix the agreement mistake
dresses
show examples
in their
concert
Fix the agreement mistake
concerts
show examples
in terms of full
liberty
, as
an
Change the article
a
show examples
consequence, adults might adhere
Change preposition
to these
show examples
these
Change the determiner
this freedom
show examples
freedom
. Needless to say,
artists
should have some limitations and restrictions to protect our
society
.
To conclude
,
artists
should not be given full
liberty
because it affects
society
in a wrong way
as well as
the
crime
rate
also
increasing
Wrong verb form
increases
show examples
due to
artists
express
Wrong verb form
expressing
show examples
their notions and thoughts without any limitations.
Therefore
, I strongly disagree with
this
statement that
artists
should not be given extreme
liberty
.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that your ideas are logically connected and that your essay flows smoothly from one point to the next. Transition words and phrases can help to improve this aspect.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more comprehensively. Ensure that each point is fully explained and supported with relevant and clear examples.
task achievement
Work on sentence structure and grammar to reduce the number of errors and improve the clarity of your writing.
task achievement
Consider addressing opposing viewpoints to strengthen your argument and provide a more balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a solid structure for your argument.
task achievement
You have clearly responded to the prompt and made your position clear from the beginning.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: