Some say that it would be better if the majority of employees worked from home instead of travelling to a workplace every day. Do you think the advantages of working from home outweigh the disavantages.

Working and earning an income is essential for the survival of all people.
However
, travelling every day to the
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
is tiring
as well as
time
-consuming. Some people believe that telecommuting is better for most workers as it has several benefits. In my opinion,
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
from home brings numerous professional and personal benefits which outweigh its drawbacks. On the one hand, commuting consumes considerable
time
every day. In the modern world, every
employee
demands higher productivity in which every second counts.
Therefore
, telecommuting helps an
employee
to save
time
in terms of
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
. That extra
time
could be converted into productive
work
, especially in urban areas where traffic congestion is high and leads to
time
loss.
For instance
, the average commuting
time
for an
employee
in a metropolitan city like Hanoi is two hours daily.
On the other hand
,
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of
face to face
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
interaction at the office would reduce
professional
Correct article usage
the professional
show examples
development of an
employee
. Improving communication skills and other soft skills is crucial for career development and
this
is not possible when employees telecommute.
Additionally
, it is impossible to telecommute for people who
work
in the manufacturing sector because their
work
needs to be monitored continuously.
However
, some professionals,
such
as those in the Information technology sector, could enjoy the benefits offered by telecommuting since most of their projects could be done from a remote location. In conclusion,
although
telecommuting has some drawbacks, I believe that the additional
time
and flexibility offered by it is extremely beneficial for employees of certain job sectors. Despite the fact that telecommuting negatively affects the rapid professional development of an individual, it increases the productivity which employers enjoy the most.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider providing a more balanced view by mentioning potential disadvantages of telecommuting more extensively to demonstrate a full understanding of both sides.
coherence cohesion
Attempt to incorporate more linking phrases and words to improve the flow between and within paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay effectively covers the advantages and disadvantages of telecommuting, providing a clear and well-structured argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and clearly outline the main points of the essay.
task achievement
Good use of specific examples, such as the commuting time in Hanoi, to illustrate points.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure is maintained throughout the essay, supporting the main points coherently.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: