Some companies sponsor sport as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good, while others think there are disadvantages Discuss both views and give your opinion

Sports
play a crucial role in every nation. Numerous enterprises advertise their
product
by sponsoring
sports
. Some
people
say that
companies
sponsoring
sports
are beneficial
while
others think that it brings drawbacks.
This
essay discusses both viewpoints and I strongly agree with the latter opinion for the following reasons. On the one hand,
sports
sponsoring is beneficial for
sports
academies and nations because large
companies
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
a huge amount
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
sports
event
Fix the agreement mistake
events
show examples
, so sportsmen can get world-level practice and maintain a diet in order to country get more money from tourism when any
sports
event happens.
For example
,
IPL
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in IPL
show examples
match
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matches
show examples
in India, many businessmen sponsor
to
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apply
show examples
sportsmen practice and
a
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apply
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diet, and
as a result
, numerous travellers visit India to watch live
match
Fix the agreement mistake
matches
show examples
. Sportsmen
also
have a chance to explore their skills and talents across the nations.
Hence
, sponsoring
sports
by
companies
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
beneficial.
On the other hand
, sponsoring
sports
by large entities
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
negative consequences.
This
means
companies
influence
people
to buy their
product
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products
show examples
by inserting their
product
's logo and symbol in front of the stadium,
consequently
, humankind
buy
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buys
show examples
unwanted products constantly by manipulating
companies
.
For instance
, numerous new
product
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products
show examples
can easily launch and register
people
's
mind
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minds
show examples
without knowing whether
is
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are
show examples
good or bad for them.
Besides
,
people
's consumer behaviour is increased by sponsoring
sports
event
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events
show examples
and it brings negative consequences to society.
To conclude
,
sports
are
the
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of the
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utmost importance in all nations.
Although
sponsoring
sports
assist
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assists
show examples
to enhance
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in enhancing
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sportmen
Correct your spelling
sportsmen
sport
skills and improves tourism, it stimulates
people
's buying capacity in order to buy constantly even if unwanted things.
However
, in my opinion,
about
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apply
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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this
, I strongly agree
with
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apply
show examples
that sponsoring
sports
affect
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affects
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society
as well as
individuals to buy unwanted things by
influencing
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influenced
show examples
by
advertisement
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advertisements
show examples
.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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task achievement
Ensure that your arguments are balanced. While you've presented both viewpoints, the discussion for the advantages of sponsorship could benefit from more depth and examples.
task achievement
Focus on the clarity of your ideas. Some sections need clearer connections between sentences and main points to avoid any potential confusion for the reader.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas clearly within paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the information flows logically within the paragraph.
general
Be mindful of grammatical errors and try to use more complex sentences to demonstrate a higher command of the language.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction sets a clear direction for the essay and informs the reader about the points you plan to discuss.
supported main points
You presented multiple viewpoints, showing an ability to discuss the topic from different perspectives.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and offers a clear opinion, reinforcing your argument.
supported main points
You used real-world examples like the IPL to support your points, which added depth to your argument.
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