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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that going to a fitness centare regularly is unnecssary. Instead they believe the combining occasional exrcise(such as going for walk) with a balanced diet is enough to stay healthy. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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Healthy
Add an article
A healthy
show examples
lifestyle
Use synonyms
 is
utmost
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
required for everyone. Some people say that
combine
Wrong verb form
combining
show examples
 occasional
exercise
Use synonyms
 with a balanced
diet
Use synonyms
 is adequate
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
being
Verb problem
having
show examples
 a healthy
lifestyle
Use synonyms
 rather than going to a
gym
Use synonyms
 is useless. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement for the following reasons.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, going to a
fitness
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 is useless because
Use synonyms
gym
Correct article usage
a gym
show examples
 workout is not suitable for everyone
due to
Linking Words
 health conditions but a balanced
diet
Use synonyms
 and walking can adhere to all without getting
Change preposition
into troubles
show examples
troubles
Fix the agreement mistake
trouble
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 is because
older
Correct article usage
the older
show examples
 generation and teens cannot do the heavy work out in the
fitness
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
,
indian
Change the capitalization
Indian
show examples
 elderly people usually walk
around
Change preposition
for around
show examples
 thirty minutes
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every morning and evening
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a regular
basics
Correct your spelling
basis
show examples
, and
as a result
Linking Words
, they have a healthy
lifestyle
Use synonyms
. Walking is not a heavy
exercise
Use synonyms
, everyone can do it without facing any troubles
alon
Correct your spelling
alone
 with any tutors.
Hence
Linking Words
, walking is the best
exercise
Use synonyms
 than going to the
fitness
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a balanced
diet
Use synonyms
 always provides numerous benefits to the population than doing heavy work
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in
Use synonyms
gym
Add an article
the gym
a gym
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 means
a proper eating habits
Correct the article-noun agreement
proper eating habits
a proper eating habit
show examples
 with
nutrients
Replace the word
nutritious
show examples
 food can lead to
live
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a healthy
lifestyle
Use synonyms
,
therefore
Linking Words
, individuals stay far away from obesity issues when they are eating
a healthy meals
Correct the article-noun agreement
healthy meals
a healthy meal
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, a recent survey said that more adults follow a proper
diet
Use synonyms
 with
nutrients
Replace the word
nutritious
show examples
 food
instead
Linking Words
 of paying
Use synonyms
gym
Change preposition
to gym
show examples
Use synonyms
center
Fix the agreement mistake
centers
show examples
. Needless to say, eating a balanced
diet
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
nutrious
Correct your spelling
nutritious
 food without fat and
calorie
Fix the agreement mistake
calories
show examples
 brings a
healthy
Replace the word
healthier
show examples
lifestyle
Use synonyms
 than
doing work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 out in
Use synonyms
fitness
Correct article usage
a fitness
show examples
Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, going
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
fitness
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 is unnecessary when people adhere
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
proper
Change the adjective
properly
show examples
 balanced
diet
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
 walking because it brings a healthy
lifestyle
Use synonyms
. I strongly agree
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that combined
exercise
Use synonyms
 and a balanced
diet
Use synonyms
 provide more benefits than paying
gym
Use synonyms
 membership
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
regularly.

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grammar
Ensure that the sentences are free from grammatical and typographical errors for better clarity and readability. For example, 'utmost required' should be 'of utmost importance' and 'adequate to being a healthy lifestyle' should be 'adequate for maintaining a healthy lifestyle.'
coherence cohesion
Try to enhance the use of linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and ideas. This will help the essay read more smoothly.
task response
Expand on your ideas and provide clear, specific examples to strengthen your arguments. This will make your points more convincing and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to structure your paragraphs clearly with a clear main idea, supporting details, and a concluding sentence. This will enhance the overall coherence and cohesion of your essay.
introduction
Your introduction is clear and sets up the main argument effectively.
examples
You have included relevant examples to support your points, which is good for task achievement.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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