At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, corrJpared with the number of older people.

#time #population #countries #adults #people

At the present time, the

population

of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

This

essay will explain the advantages and disadvantages of

this

situation which shows

demographic

Correct article usage

a demographic

show examples

skew towards younger populations.

First,

youthful

Add an article

the youthful

a youthful

show examples

population

can drive economic growth as they form a large part of the workforce, contributing to productivity and innovation.

The second

Correct article usage

Second

show examples

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

occasions can lead to a vibrant and dynamic society

Change preposition

in that

show examples

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

these processes play an important role in social dynamism.

In addition

, it can support for

aging

Change the spelling

ageing

show examples

population

that young adults can help the

population

through taxation and welfare systems. All these cases indicate that the growth of the youth

population

is a sign in

favor

Change the spelling

favour

show examples

of the country. Sometimes

this

increase can result in youth unemployment if there are not enough job opportunities and it can lead to social unrest, disenchantment, and wasted human potential.

While

young adults contribute to economic growth, they

also

have dependency needs,

such

as education and healthcare.

This

means

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

working-age

Add an article

the working-age

a working-age

show examples

population

can strain resources and social services.

While

a youthful

population

is advantageous in the short term, it can lead to challenges in the future as

this

cohort ages. There may be

worked

Replace the word

work

show examples

at healthcare systems and pension schemes when

this

large cohort reaches retirement age.

In addition

this

case can pressure on infrastructure and it leads to overcrowding, inadequate services, and urban sprawl.

To conclude

while

a youthful

population

can offer numerous advantages, it

also

presents challenges that

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

negatively.

Submitted by checkmyessay9 on Mon Jun 10 2024

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task response

Clarify the point about young adults supporting the aging population. It is not entirely clear how this support functions in your essay.

coherence cohesion

Refine the logical structure of your paragraphs. Some sentences lack clear transitions, like 'The second this occasions can lead to...' which disrupts the flow.

task response

Provide specific examples to support your points. For instance, you mention economic growth but don’t give a concrete example of a country where this is evident.

overall

The essay is generally well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

task response

You have addressed both the advantages and the disadvantages, providing a balanced view of the topic.

overall

The use of terms like 'social dynamism' and 'dependency needs' shows a strong vocabulary.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

252 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, corrJpared with the number of older people.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Youvrecently booked a part-time course at a college. You now need to cancle your booking. Write a letter to the college administrator, in your letter Say which part-time course you booked Explain why you need to cancel your booking Ask about booking a different course

Since most information about culture and history can be found online, museums are no longer needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extend do you agree or disagree? Write at least 250 words.

Plastic bags, plastic bottles and plastic packaging are bad for the environment. What damage does plastic do to the environment? What can be done by governments and individuals to solve this problem?

Lack of fresh water is becoming a global issue of increasing importance. what problems does this shortage cause? what measures could be taken to overcome these problems?