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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Task 1: The chart below shows the changes in the percentage of households with cars in one European country between 1971 and 2001.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Task 1: The chart below shows the changes in the percentage of households with cars in one European country between 1971 and 2001.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#changes #percentage #households #cars #european #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The graph describes the development in the percentages of
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
owns
Correct subject-verb agreement
own
show examples
cars
Use synonyms
 in one European nation from 1971 to 2001.
Overall
Linking Words
, there was a decrease in
households
Use synonyms
 not
cars
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the
percentages
Fix the agreement mistake
percentage
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
had
Correct pronoun usage
who had
show examples
cars
Use synonyms
 significantly
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
.The
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
households
Use synonyms
 owning
two
Use synonyms
 cas fluctuated from 1971 to 2001. Speaking of, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who did not have
cars
Use synonyms
 fell from 50% in 1971 to almost 40% in 1981.
By contrast
Linking Words
, there was a noticeable increase in the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 owning
two
Use synonyms
cars
Use synonyms
 from approximately 20% to 30%.
While
Linking Words
 the amount of
people
Use synonyms
 owning one car decreased slightly from 36% in 1971 to 34% in 1981. Over the next decade, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
households
Use synonyms
 that had
two
Use synonyms
cars
Use synonyms
 increased dramatically from 21% in 1991 to approximately 31% in 2001
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 figure
29
Change preposition
of 29
show examples
% remained unchanged with the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who did not own
cars
Use synonyms
 in the past
two
Use synonyms
 decades. There was a slight decrease from 50% in 1981 to 47% in 1991 with the
households
Use synonyms
 having one car.
Submitted by weezel on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cars, households, people, percentage, two with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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