IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

your friend has been offered a place on a course at the university where you studied. she would like your advice about finding a place to live. write an email to your friend. in your email describe where you lived when you were a student at the university recommend the best way for her to look for accommodation warn her of mistakes students make when choosing accomodation

#friend #place #course #university #advice #email #student #accommodation #mistakes #students #accomodation
Dear Sara, How have you been? I don't miss the wonderful time we had together at the school. I am very glad that you have been offered a place on a medical course at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
White College. I was living in the Abdi Dormitory that was located on Abdi Street.
This
 street has a lively and upbeat atmosphere and it offers lots of recreational facilities. You can find a pool, two restaurants and a cinema there.
Furthermore
, you can find different resources for better options. As I remember, there was an accommodation office at the college which offered the best options to students.
In addition
, you can ask other agencies about suitable items. There are some
oppourtunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 on the Internet as well.
last
 but not least, you should be aware of some mistakes that students make when choosing accommodation. Having access to public transportation is one of the most important options.
Moreover
, you must control
equipment
Correct article usage
the equipment
show examples
 of that place precisely
due to
 the fact that some of them may be damaged or broken. I am looking forward to receiving your message. Best wishes, Mahshid
Submitted by kargar.mh1992 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Pay attention to proper capitalization, especially at the beginning of sentences and for proper nouns. Enhance the conclusion by summarizing key points for a more comprehensive closure.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all your points are clearly connected using appropriate linking words and phrases for better fluidity and readability. The conclusion can be more elaborated for a stronger finish.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples or detailed advice about nearby accommodations to improve the relevance and specificity of information.
task achievement
The email addresses the requirements of the task, describing past living conditions, recommending ways to find accommodation, and warning about common mistakes.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the email is well-organized, with clear paragraphs for each point.
coherence cohesion
The tone is friendly and supportive, suitable for writing to a friend.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: