Some people think it is more beneficial to play sports that are played in teams, e.g. football. Some people think individual sports e.g. tennis and swimming are better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some individuals believe that
teams
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teams'
team's
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competitive games are more beneficial for the participants
while
others would disagree and promote an individual type of athletics. Indeed, both represented sports types could develop advantaged skills for any
person
. It is worth considering that
exercises
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exercise
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and
a
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apply
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generally active lifestyle support
to build
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building
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strong
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of strong
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muscles and a fit body,
to
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apply
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increase stamina and
toimprove
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to improve
improve
a
person
's life
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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for decades.
Consequently
, any form of physical activity would incredibly boost your vital processes all over the organism. It can be seen that
sport
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sports
show examples
which require a team effort is slightly different from self-performing activity. For
such
well-known and admired group sports as football, volleyball, basketball, etcetera, it is essential to be well-acquainted and maintain
an excellent relationships
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excellent relationships
an excellent relationship
show examples
between
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with
show examples
each other as the possibility of future victories and triumphs directly depends on
this
. Certainly, teamwork requires a high involvement of each team member as all the success and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
responsibility rely on everyone. Another thing to consider is
huge
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a huge
the huge
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influence of individual sports on
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
personality and
a
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apply
show examples
self-becoming. Obviously, it is extremely complicated to face the reality of the
sport
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sports
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industry by one
person
and realise that everything depends only on you and your ambitions and desires.
However
, solely under
such
complex circumstances, a strong individuality
arise
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arises
show examples
, who would definitely achieve the highest scores. Taking everything into consideration, every sport has its specific
characteristic
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characteristics
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and each
person
needs to select as per their own preferences. In my humble belief,
an
Correct article usage
apply
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individual athletics would be beneficial for everybody owing to its self-sacrificing and,
moreover
, discipline.
Submitted by yulia_regulich on

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task achievement
While you have addressed both views, try to balance the length and detail you give to each perspective. Additionally, using more specific examples can strengthen your argument. For instance, mentioning a real-life individual sportsperson's experience can make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Some parts of your essay have run-on sentences and some awkward phrasing. Try to use simpler, clearer sentences for better readability. For example, instead of 'Consequently, any form of physical activity would incredibly boost your vital processes all over the organism', you could say 'Consequently, any form of physical activity significantly improves overall health.'
task achievement
Your introduction effectively sets up the discussion and acknowledges both perspectives.
task achievement
You have a clear conclusion that gives a personal opinion, which is a vital part of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is structured logically, and each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next point.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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