Some people think it is more beneficial to play sports that are played in teams, e.g. football. Some people think individual sports e.g. tennis and swimming are better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some individuals believe that
teams
competitive games are more beneficial for the participants Change noun form
teams'
team's
while
others would disagree and promote an individual type of athletics. Indeed, both represented sports types could develop advantaged skills for any person
.
It is worth considering that exercises
and Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
a
generally active lifestyle support Remove the article
apply
to build
Change the verb form
building
strong
muscles and a fit body, Change preposition
of strong
to
increase stamina and Fix the infinitive
apply
toimprove
a Correct your spelling
to improve
improve
person
's life being
for decades. Unnecessary verb
apply
Consequently
, any form of physical activity would incredibly boost your vital processes all over the organism. It can be seen that sport
which require a team effort is slightly different from self-performing activity. For Fix the agreement mistake
sports
such
well-known and admired group sports as football, volleyball, basketball, etcetera, it is essential to be well-acquainted and maintain an excellent relationships
Correct the article-noun agreement
excellent relationships
an excellent relationship
between
each other as the possibility of future victories and triumphs directly depends on Change preposition
with
this
. Certainly, teamwork requires a high involvement of each team member as all the success and the
responsibility rely on everyone.
Another thing to consider is Correct article usage
apply
huge
influence of individual sports on Add an article
a huge
the huge
a
personality and Correct article usage
apply
a
self-becoming. Obviously, it is extremely complicated to face the reality of the Correct article usage
apply
sport
industry by one Change the noun form
sports
person
and realise that everything depends only on you and your ambitions and desires. However
, solely under such
complex circumstances, a strong individuality arise
, who would definitely achieve the highest scores.
Taking everything into consideration, every sport has its specific Change the verb form
arises
characteristic
and each Fix the agreement mistake
characteristics
person
needs to select as per their own preferences. In my humble belief, an
individual athletics would be beneficial for everybody owing to its self-sacrificing and, Correct article usage
apply
moreover
, discipline.Submitted by yulia_regulich on
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task achievement
While you have addressed both views, try to balance the length and detail you give to each perspective. Additionally, using more specific examples can strengthen your argument. For instance, mentioning a real-life individual sportsperson's experience can make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Some parts of your essay have run-on sentences and some awkward phrasing. Try to use simpler, clearer sentences for better readability. For example, instead of 'Consequently, any form of physical activity would incredibly boost your vital processes all over the organism', you could say 'Consequently, any form of physical activity significantly improves overall health.'
task achievement
Your introduction effectively sets up the discussion and acknowledges both perspectives.
task achievement
You have a clear conclusion that gives a personal opinion, which is a vital part of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is structured logically, and each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next point.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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