In some countries it is illegal to reject candidates for a job based on their ages. Discuss advantages and disadvantages of this and give your own opinion.
Such
nations are considering
it Wrong verb form
consider
is
an offence Unnecessary verb
apply
for
to refuse to give a job Change preposition
apply
depends
on the applicants’ ages. Now here we are going to discuss Wrong verb form
depending
about
the merits and demerits Remove the preposition
apply
this
statement.
Change preposition
of this
Initially
, each country
has such
a policy and separate laws based on that
the Correct word choice
what
government
and private sectors are running. Some nations are punishing hardly to the
Correct article usage
apply
employer
if they reject any candidates by citing their Fix the agreement mistake
employers
age
. Because
Correct word choice
Age
age
is not a major factor to terminate
the employee from the organization. Change preposition
in terminating
Moreover
, experienced employees will give the
good productivity and train the Correct article usage
apply
new comers
in that field and the Correct your spelling
newcomers
country
economy will Change noun form
country's
possible
improve in a good position. To Change the word
possibly
illustrates
, china has Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrate
more
population and there is no Fix the agreement mistake
a larger
age
limit for retirement and government
has implemented a law for job secure
and Replace the word
security
increase
the working Wrong verb form
increased
age
limit.
Furthermore
, if aged employees are
grabbed more jobs Unnecessary verb
apply
means
Verb problem
apply
this
will
lead to Wrong verb form
would
create
employment scarcity among Verb problem
apply
the
youngsters. Correct article usage
apply
Additionally
, elder employees are not possible
to work actively Correct word choice
able
as
like youngsters Change preposition
apply
hence
, there might be chance
to reduce the Add an article
a chance
the chance
company
productivity Change noun form
company's
this
will lead to create an impact Correct pronoun usage
which
to
the Change preposition
on
country
economy. To Change noun form
country's
illustrates
, India Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrate
have
more population and the retirement Correct subject-verb agreement
has
age
limit is around 60 for all government
and private sectors due to
this
most of
Change preposition
apply
the
youngsters especially beginners who Correct article usage
apply
has
completed Change the verb form
have
the
degree recently will encounter Change the word
their
lot
of problems Change the article
a lot
for
getting Change preposition
apply
job
.
In a nutshell, terminating Add an article
a job
the job
employee
based on their Add an article
an employee
age
factor is not acceptable. Whilst, all countries
Change noun form
country's
countries'
government
should implement laws to protect the workers and give some pension scheme for elder people after their retirement. Fix the agreement mistake
governments
This
is the way to enhance the country
economy Change noun form
country's
as well as
people
lifestyle.Change noun form
people's
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task achievement
Your essay effectively covers the two sides of the discussion: the advantages and disadvantages of prohibiting age discrimination in employment. However, to achieve a higher score, make sure to clearly and thoroughly support each point with detailed examples and concrete evidence.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is well-organized and features an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, some of the paragraphs’ transitions need to be smoother. Improved linking words or phrases will help with this.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each main point is fully developed and supported by detailed examples. Some points were rather briefly mentioned and could benefit from further elaboration.
task achievement
There are certain grammatical errors and awkward phrases that can be improved. For instance, use '...to refuse to offer a job based on the applicants' age' instead of '...to refuse to give a job depends on the applicants’ ages,' and 'illustrates' should be 'illustrate.' Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and other basic grammar rules.
coherence cohesion
The essay features clear paragraphing with a distinct introduction, body, and conclusion, which provides a solid structure and enhances readability.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples to illustrate your points, such as mentioning China's policy on age limits and job security laws. These examples help to concretize your arguments and make them more persuasive.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?