Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.
It is a common view that modern
technology
has bridge
the gap between Wrong verb form
bridged
people
while
others argue that it has make
Wrong verb form
made
Add an article
the relationship
a relationship
relationship
between Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
people
become worse. This
writer holds the believe
that the relationship of Replace the word
belief
human
become worse Fix the agreement mistake
humans
is
Correct your spelling
as
the
Correct article usage
a
resulted
of today's Replace the word
result
technology
.
On the one
hand, technology
bring
many benefits Change the verb form
brings
for
Change preposition
to
human
and Fix the agreement mistake
humans
the
society, Correct article usage
apply
one
of them is that people
can call and talk to their relatives, families and friends around the world in
anytime, anywhere, whenever they want without any barrier. Change preposition
apply
This
will help making
Wrong verb form
make
people
have a better relationship and keep in touch with each other when they are apart.
On the one
hand, people
nowadays are becoming more and more addicted to technology
device
like Change the noun form
devices
smartphone
and social media and refuse to stop Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
depend
on them. Nowadays, Change the form of the verb
depending
instead
of going out with families, Correct word choice
or hang
hang
out with friends and siblings we tend to stay at home talking through the screen, and Wrong verb form
hanging
this
will accidentally push we
apart when we do not notice. The screens will become an invisible barrier in Correct pronoun usage
us
people
relationships and slowly widen the gaps between humans Change noun form
people's
due to
the fact that human
need to meet Fix the agreement mistake
humans
in
Change preposition
apply
face
to face
when communicate
Change the verb form
communicating
to
each other and we Change preposition
with
also
use body language and action
to communicate. Talking through the screens will make Fix the agreement mistake
actions
people
become shallow on thought
and emotions and Fix the agreement mistake
thoughts
feeling
isolated for being alone Wrong verb form
feel
this
can make people
feel lonely or sometime
become fear to communicate Replace the word
sometimes
face
to face
.
To conclude
, although
technology
help
Change the verb form
helps
people
to contact with
Change preposition
apply
one
another immediately in
Change preposition
at
anytime
, Replace the word
any time
this
is a huge convenience for many people
, but i
believe that Change the capitalization
I
this
is also
the major reason that make
Change the verb form
makes
people
gradually becoming
distant.Wrong verb form
become
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task achievement
Improve grammar and punctuation to enhance clarity and readability.
task achievement
Provide more concrete and relevant examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that transitions between ideas are smooth.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating a more compelling introduction and conclusion to frame your essay effectively.
task achievement
You have addressed both viewpoints as required by the prompt.
task achievement
You have provided some thoughtful points regarding the impact of technology on human relationships.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well organized overall, with an introduction, main body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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