Some people say that seeing an ancient objects in a museum can give the public a unique awareness of history. Others say that modern media such as internet provide more effective way for the public to learn about history.

#people #objects #museum #awareness #history #media #internet

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Being able to see and interact with ancient stuff links us with

history

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more,

while

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many feel that reading about it on the

internet

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is better because it saves time and gives us more information. The case against using the

Internet

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to learn about

history

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is that does not give you any physical feeling,

furthermore

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, ancient items can give us a closer look at what

history

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looked like,

For example

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, we wouldn't know the ancient

pyramids

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pyramids'

pyramid's

show examples

size if we hadn't interacted with it,

Secondly

Linking Words

, ancient items

such

Linking Words

as swords, armour etc, is hard to describe so it's better to take a look at it in person.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the

internet

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can provide a lot more details about

history

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, unlike seeing ancient objects

internet

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doesn't have any limits you could read an article about an old war or ancient civilization,

moreover

Linking Words

, you can even see images and videos about the

history

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this

Linking Words

leads to more specific details and gives us much more knowledge about

history

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In addition

Linking Words

, the

internet

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can be accessed easily. In conclusion,

it is clear that

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both opinions have valid points,

However

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, I believe that as much as the

internet

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has its positives, seeing ancient objects in a physical way is more important

while

Linking Words

learning about

history

Use synonyms

Submitted by slmansamiatti3178388 on Tue Jun 11 2024

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task achievement

You have covered both perspectives and provided examples to support your ideas. However, the essay would benefit from more specific and detailed examples that clearly illustrate your points.

coherence cohesion

Ensure there is a clear and distinct introduction that sets the tone for your essay. The introduction in the provided essay could be more robust. Similarly, the conclusion should more strongly reiterate your stance and main points.

coherence cohesion

The ideas presented are logical and follow a distinguishable structure. However, strive for smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs to enhance the flow of your essay.

task achievement

You have addressed both sides of the argument, which is crucial for a balanced discussion.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main argument and provides a clear stance on the topic.

task achievement

The points made are logical and relevant, providing a clear understanding of your perspective.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

211 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

tactile and visual experience
immersive
curation
contextual information
interaction
tangible
emotional experience
connection
multimedia elements
interactive maps
virtual tours
accessibility
diversity of perspectives
authoritative validation
educational programs
collaborative learning

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Some people say that seeing an ancient objects in a museum can give the public a unique awareness of history. Others say that modern media such as internet provide more effective way for the public to learn about history.

Fully explain your ideas

The best for the government to solve the problem of traffic congestion is providing free public transport per day, 7 day a week. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?

People today do not feel safe either at home or when they are out. What do you think is the cause of this? What can be done to solve this problem?

In many countries students who leave high school have no understanding of how to manage their money What do you think are the reasons?What can be done to improve chis important skill?