IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

When asked to choose between a life without work and working most of the time, people would always choose not to work. Do you agree or disagree with this statement.

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Whether or not, many individuals would always prefer not working
than
Change preposition
to
show examples
 working most of the time in their
life
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
writter
Correct your spelling
writer
 argues that some citizens will opt to
working
Change the verb form
work
show examples
 because they want to develop
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as developing
Correct article usage
the economic
show examples
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
. It is vital to understand that
people
Use synonyms
 must work to develop
Correct article usage
the economic
show examples
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
. To explain,
people
Use synonyms
 will make a
lot
Use synonyms
 of products that can improve and solve problems in
society
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, they can sell the products, earn a
lot
Use synonyms
 of money and develop their own economic business.
For example
Linking Words
, there are a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
technologic
Replace the word
technological
show examples
 products that are made by technicians help
people
Use synonyms
 to do a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
thing
Change to a plural noun
things
show examples
,
then
Linking Words
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can develop
Correct article usage
the economic
show examples
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 will still choose
working
Change the verb form
to work
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, some suggest that communities would always enjoy not working
life
Use synonyms
. The main reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
 opinion is that they want to spend most of their lifetime
to relax
Change the verb form
relaxing
show examples
 and
enjoy
Wrong verb form
enjoying
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of working.
This
Linking Words
 thinking is true in some conditions, but for me, we need to choose
working
Change the verb form
to work
show examples
 to earn more money.
Then
Linking Words
, we can use money to relax more effectively
such
Linking Words
 as travel to wonder places around the world. In conclusion, we need to work and develop our
society
Use synonyms
 before thinking about a
life
Use synonyms
 without working. If we work more to develop
society
Use synonyms
, we can relax and enjoy
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 more effectively

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grammar
Improve your grammar and sentence structure to make your ideas clearer. Avoid minor errors such as 'economic' when you mean 'economy' and 'writter' which should be 'writer'.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your main points. This will make your essay more convincing.
task achievement
Work on developing your main points more fully. This will help to ensure that your response is both clear and comprehensive.
structure
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your argument effectively.
structure
Your essay generally follows a logical structure, with each paragraph flowing from the last.
task response
You have addressed the task by discussing both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial stability
  • personal interests
  • social isolation
  • structured daily routine
  • sense of purpose
  • achievement
  • boredom
  • overworking
  • burnout
  • hobbies
  • family time
  • work pressures
  • stress
  • health issues
  • social interactions
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