IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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Many people believe that animal experimentation should be banned because it is cruel.
On the other hand
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, its importance in
scientific
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a scientific
the scientific
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 field is
emmence
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immense
eminence
. In
this
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essay
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essay,
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 we will discuss
that
Correct word choice
whether
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this
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 practice is justified, despite its cruelty and whether there are any other alternatives.
Experiment
Fix the agreement mistake
Experiments
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 on
animal
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animals
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has
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have
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 been fundamental for
scientific
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the scientific
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 development of human society. It has been used in many fields of science that directly improved our lives.
For example
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,
animal
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the animal
an animal
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 trial is a
mendatory
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mandatory
 step that pharmaceutical companies have to complete in order to release
of
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apply
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a new drug. If a drug shows
harmfull
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harmful
 effects
to
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on
show examples
animal
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animals
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such
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 as
,
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apply
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 rats or monkeys in
this
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 step,
human
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the human
a human
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 trial is not undertaken. Animal experimentation is executed in fields which are completely unknown or new to us as well.
Famous
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A famous
The famous
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 example of
this
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 is Leica, the dog sent to
outerspace
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outer space
 by
Russian
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a Russian
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 aerospace authority to experiment
the
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with the
show examples
 effects of space travel on a living body. The information gathered by
this
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 mission paved the way
of
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for
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 the human exploration of space.
On the other hand
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, countless innocent animals die in these processes. Preventing these
death
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deaths
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 may not be avoidable entirely,
however
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, new
development
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developments
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 in science can help reduce
this
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 number.
Specially
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Especially
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 development in the field of Artificial Intelligence is lighting the beacon of hope. With enough data, computer simulation can take
place
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the place
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 of animal experiments in many fields.
Such
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 as
,
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apply
show examples
effects
Correct article usage
the effects
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 of different
environment
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environments
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 on a living body
in
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on
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 other planets,
for
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example
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example,
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 mars.
To conclude
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, animal experimentation is
an
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apply
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inhuman,
however
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 it is a justified cruelty.
However
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, these animals did not choose to be in
this
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 place, we, the humans did. So, it is our responsibility to look for any other alternatives to avoid
this
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 practice.

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grammar
Work on improving grammatical accuracy, especially with subject-verb agreement and proper article usage. For example, change 'experiment on animal' to 'experiment on animals' and 'a mendatory step' to 'a mandatory step.'
spelling
Be mindful of spelling errors. Correct 'emmece' to 'immense' and 'mendatory' to 'mandatory.'
content development
Expand on some of the ideas to make them more comprehensive. For instance, provide more concrete examples of how AI can replace animal experimentation instead of just mentioning it briefly.
structure
The essay is structured well with clear sections: an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
evidence
The use of specific examples such as drug testing and the example of Laika the dog helps to illustrate points effectively.
balance view
The writer presents a balanced view, acknowledging the ethical concerns while recognizing the scientific benefits of animal testing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific breakthroughs
  • ethical concerns
  • alternatives
  • animal testing
  • moral implications
  • ethical considerations
  • vivisection
  • research methods
  • ethical dilemmas
  • animal welfare
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