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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table below gives information about the values (NZ$) of exports of kiwi fruit from New Zealand to five countries between 2010 and 2012. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below gives information about the values (NZ$) of exports of kiwi fruit from New Zealand to five countries between 2010 and 2012. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The values of
kiwi
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 fruit from New Zealand
exports
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 to five nations between 2010 and 2012 are shown in the table.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that Japan was New Zealand’s largest export market.
In addition
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, over the course of three years, the value of
kiwi
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exports
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 to Saudi Arabia fell significantly,
while
Linking Words
 the reverse was recorded in the remaining countries. In 2010,
exports
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 of
kiwi
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 fruit to Japan were more than 270
million
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 dollars, nearly three times that of China and ten times that of Saudi Arabia.
This
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 year,
exports
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 to Mexico and Russia brought in
lesser
Correct word choice
less
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 money, with 1.2
million
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 for Mexico and 968,000 dollars for Russia. By 2012,
exports
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 to Japan increased significantly and totalled more than 325
million
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 dollars. A rise in the figures for China, Mexico, and Russia was
also
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 witnessed at $94
million
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, $3.3
million
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, and $2.4
million
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, respectively.
However
Linking Words
, in 2011, the value of
kiwi
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exports
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 to Saudi Arabia had only decreased to $106,000, and by 2012, it had reached $82,000.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words kiwi, exports, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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