The following pie charts show the results of a survey into the most popular leisure activities in the United States of America in 1999 and 2009.
The given bar charts illustrate the proportion of different activities in free time in the US between 1999 and 2009 .
Overall
, it can be seen that a minority of people did yoga in their leisure time by 1999 , Linking Words
whereas
the year 2009 saw the least participants in jogging . Linking Words
Additionally
, walking was seen as an activity with many more people enjoyed than others in both years .
Regarding the pie chart where camping , swimming, Linking Words
as well as
jogging and yoga,Linking Words
as well as
jogging and Linking Words
yoga
saw the minority of participants Add the comma(s)
yoga,
by
accounting for under 10% . Change preposition
apply
By contrast
, walking made up nearly a third doubled the remaining activities , including bicycling , aerobics and soccer.
Turning to the remaining year which had most people enjoying walking, walking and swimming accounting for 31% and 18% , respectively . Linking Words
By contrast
, just a few participants chose to take part in other activities seeing a range from 3% to 10% with weightlifting having the mostLinking Words
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "as well as, by contrast".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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