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Band 5.5

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries, living in cities from 1972 to 2020, prediction for 2030, and 2040. summarise to information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries, living in cities from 1972 to 2020, prediction for 2030, and 2040. summarise to information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #percentage #population #four #asian #countries #cities #prediction #summarise #features #comparisons
The line graph depicts the amount of people who
lives
Correct subject-verb agreement
live
show examples
 in cities
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
, Malaysia, Thailand,
Indonesia
Correct word choice
and Indonesia
show examples
, during the period from 1970 to 2020, with the future view in 20 years.
Overall
, all of
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 four countries have
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
increase
Change the verb form
increasing
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 trend. First of all, the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 Malaysia, starting at 30% in 1970, over that of
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 after 1990, became the highest one in the
further
 50 years, at approximately 80% in 2040,
while
 the category of
Philippines
, which rand first at the beginning, dropped to the third in the end, just a little above a half. On the opposite, Indonesia,
as
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the bottom at
first,
account
Wrong verb form
accounted
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 it reached just below 30% in 2000
as well as
 that of Thailand, and
then
 dramatically to higher than 40%, the same figure
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
 that of
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
, ultimately ranked at the second one in three decades.
Submitted by dayowong095 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words philippines with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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