The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Some people consider that science is a tool that should force on qualities of individuals'
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives

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. I completely agree
that
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with that

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. First of all, ensuring a prison lives in
healthy
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a healthy

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way is the
majoy
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major

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goals
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goal

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of
societies
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society

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. It benefits the society of
economical
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economic

The word economical doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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improvement. Nowadays, uncountable people suffer from serious
deases
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diseases

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annul years in the world because of the unadvanced technology of science.
Billion
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A billion

It appears that the phrase Billion does not contain the correct article usage. Consider using the indefinite article.

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lives die
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due to
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because of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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cannot
Verb problem
not

There may be a verb use issue here.

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be
Wrong verb form
being

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb be. Consider changing it.

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cruel and it leads to the amount of
labors
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labor

It seems that labors may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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decrease in
employments
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employment

It seems that employments may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. From the perspective of commercial organizations, it is a disadvantage that the profile turns to reduction
as well as
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

that of
polite
Correct your spelling
police

The word polite doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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authorities.
Secondly
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, working with effective
machine
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machines

It seems that machine may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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is the basis of developed countries.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
America
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in America

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, the strongest status
of
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in

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the world, one farmer can harvest 10t crops
everyday
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every day

The word everyday doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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while
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

that
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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of
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in

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Thailand only 100kg.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, employers with poor facilities should
do
Verb problem
make

There may be a verb use issue here.

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triple
effort
Correct article usage
the effort

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as those in good conditions, which is
the
Correct article usage
a

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waste of
humanities'
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humanity's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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energy, so laboratories should focus on
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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technology in workplaces. On the opposite, if professional people only aim at the academic area, they will lose their
job
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jobs

It seems that job may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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no longer, because the
mass
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masses

It seems that mass may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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are working without enthusiasm
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

poor
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions

It seems that condition may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and salaries, and the income of governments will fall dramatically. No one would like to support their scientific
exploring
Replace the word
exploration

The word exploring doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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.
As a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they will be fired in the future. In conclusion, scientists should serve
to
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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individuals' lives in order to save their job positions and keep the governments
to operate
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operating

To operate doesn’t seem to work here.

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well.

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task achievement
Firstly, the thesis statement in the introduction is unclear and lacks depth. A complete response should clearly state whether you agree or disagree and briefly outline your main reasons.
task achievement
Numerous grammatical and spelling errors (e.g., 'prison' instead of 'person', 'labors' instead of 'labor', 'deases' instead of 'diseases', 'cruel' instead of 'cure') make it difficult to follow some of the points, reducing clarity.
task achievement
Expand on the main points with more detailed explanations. For instance, the point about America and Thailand could be explained further regarding the implications on productivity and quality of life.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a logical structure in parts, making it difficult to follow the argument. Organize paragraphs in a more coherent way, ensuring that each paragraph contains a single clear idea supported by evidence.
coherence cohesion
The introduction is too brief and does not sufficiently introduce the topic or outline the main points. Ensure the introduction sets the stage well for the argument to come.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion, while present, needs to be more strongly tied to the arguments presented in the essay. Summarize the main points clearly and restate your position with stronger emphasis.
task achievement
The essay attempts to cover multiple aspects of how science impacts people’s lives, which shows an understanding of the topic's breadth.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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