IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

You eat in your college cafeteria everyday lunchtime. However, you think it needs some improvements. Write a letter to the college manager . In your letter, •explain what you like about the cafeteria •say what is wrong with it •suggest how it could be improved

#college #cafeteria #lunchtime #improvements #manager #•explain #•say #•suggest
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Dear Sir or Madam, Greetings of the day. I am Dinesh. I am in my final year and from the law department. I
am
Wrong verb form
have been
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Correct article usage
a
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 regular customer
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for
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from
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for
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 the past 4 years. So, I am suggesting
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 improvements out of my experience. Our cafeteria offers
wide
Correct article usage
a wide
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varieties
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variety
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 of food. Since we have students from all over the world, menus are regularly updated based on the student's inputs. There are no concerns with the range of food. But the
hygeine
Correct your spelling
hygiene
 in the cafeteria has come down drastically. people working in the cafeteria
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 not adhering to the
hygeine
Correct your spelling
hygiene
 standards.
This
 was highlighted by many, but
still
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still,
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 there was
not
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no
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impovement
Correct your spelling
improvement
with
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in
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this
regards
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regard
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. The rules are not being
follwed
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followed
,
eventough
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even though
 we have guidelines in place.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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task achievement
You have provided a clear explanation of what you like about the cafeteria and what is wrong with it. However, make sure that the letter covers all aspects of the task by giving a detailed suggestion on how these issues can be improved.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure by ensuring a smooth flow of ideas throughout the letter. For instance, explain what you like first, then what is wrong, and finally your suggestions for improvement.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the paragraphs are focused on single ideas to maintain clarity and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to the closing salutation to ensure it matches the polite and formal tone of the letter.
task achievement
You have used a suitable writing tone which is appropriate for a formal letter.
coherence cohesion
The closing is polite and appropriately formal.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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