Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities. Others believe that, outside of school, children should be free to enjoy life. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Many support the idea that
children
should have Use synonyms
further
liabilities after school lessons which help them to be more responsible and independent from a young age. Linking Words
However
, some argue that Linking Words
childhood
is a period that Use synonyms
children
should enjoy. Use synonyms
This
essay will talk about both cases with proper examples.
With the revolution of technology the skills that people should have, doubled, Linking Words
consequently
parents carrying their child's Linking Words
future
Use synonyms
life
want to teach them as many as more skills in order to be more stable and strong. The majority of parents encourage youngsters to attend extra lessons after school or help older Use synonyms
do
housework. Correct pronoun usage
ones do
While
helping, Linking Words
children
might make some mistakes that can be their first Use synonyms
life
experience or a Use synonyms
life
lesson that can protect them Use synonyms
Linking Words
such
kind of silly mistakes in the Change preposition
from such
future
. Use synonyms
In addition
, trying to access something by themselves leads them to become independent and Linking Words
also
make decisions faster.
There is no doubt that Linking Words
to step
adult Verb problem
stepping into
life
could be quite challenging. Use synonyms
Consequently
, an all-rounded person could be awarded in Linking Words
future
Use synonyms
life
. Use synonyms
That is
why parents want to teach their Linking Words
children
from a young age. Use synonyms
However
, by chasing for perfect Linking Words
future
people can lose their Use synonyms
childhood
. Use synonyms
Childhood
is one of the most vital periods of human Use synonyms
life
. All Use synonyms
childhood
traumas and memories affect a person's Use synonyms
future
mental health and lifestyle. Use synonyms
Therefore
, in Linking Words
this
period Linking Words
children
should enjoy their Use synonyms
childhood
and should make good colourful memories. Use synonyms
In addition
, most of the successful people mentioned that having a good Linking Words
childhood
Use synonyms
also
influences to person's Linking Words
future
career.
In conclusion, stimulating youngsters to do extra work outside of school time can provide them bright Use synonyms
future
. Use synonyms
Nonetheless
, forcing them to do excessive tasks can take their cheerful Linking Words
childhood
Use synonyms
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on
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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the task, effectively discussing both views. However, try to incorporate more specific examples to support your points further.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a clear structure throughout the essay by ensuring that each paragraph has a central idea and flows logically to the next. Use transition words to improve the cohesion between sentences and paragraphs.
language
Your essay contains minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Review your sentences for accuracy and clarity.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your essay.
task achievement
You have provided a balanced discussion of both views, showing an understanding of the task requirements.
task achievement
The points you've made are relevant and well thought out.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example