IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Technology has developed very fast over the past 100 years. However, some people think that technological progress has brought negative effects on the humanity. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Technology has been developing at a very fast pace over the
last
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 ten decades.
Nevertheless
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there are some people who think that technological progress has brought negative effects on
the
Correct article usage
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It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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humanity. I completely agree that technology has had adverse effects on
human
Correct word choice
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There may be an adjective issue here.

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mankind. The primary reason for
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 technologies affecting
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
humanity negatively is

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introduction conclusion present
Your essay introduction provides a clear statement of your position, which is excellent. However, it's lacking a broader context. Try to start with a general statement about technology and then lead into your thesis statement.
supported main points
You need to develop your main points fully, providing supporting evidence and specific examples where relevant. This will strengthen your argument.
logical structure
Your essay has a clear position, but ensure that each paragraph is cohesive with clear links between sentences and ideas. This will help enhance the overall logical structure.
complete response
To achieve a higher score, make sure to address all parts of the prompt and fully develop your response. Use specific examples to illustrate your points and elaborate on your arguments.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are clear, but providing more comprehensive arguments and explanations would enhance your response.
introduction conclusion present
You clearly state your position on the issue, which is important for a well-organized essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
The language used in your essay is clear and comprehensible, making your ideas easy to follow for the reader.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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