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Band 5.5

It is important for people to take risks, both in professional lives and personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risks #lives
For many
people
, taking
risks
 is not just a decision but
also
 a way of life. From my perspective, taking
risks
 is positive provided that they are worthwhile. On the one hand, I do not think it is beneficial to engage in risky situations indiscriminately. The explanation is that
people
 might seek
risks
 that are not worth taking.
For instance
, doing extreme sports for some fleeting thrills does not justify their grave
risks
, which can be at the expense of one's health. and, in the worst-case scenario, lives. Another prime example is fabricating excuses for sick leaves at work, as the resulting pleasure pales in comparison to potential dismissals
due to
 dishonesty.
On the other hand
, I am convinced that embracing
risks
 selectively results in more positives than negatives.
This
 means situations with the likelihood of
successes
Fix the agreement mistake
success
show examples
just
Add a missing verb
are just
show examples
 as high as that of failures, yet the former matter more.
For instance
, trying to ask
people
 for a
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
, whose outcomes can be unpredictable, is highly beneficial if successful, but hardly causes any loss if not. Taking
risks
 selectively is
also
 characterized by the balance of potential unpleasant outcomes and learning.
In other words
, the learning values from these high-risk experiences should be substantive enough to offset even the most dire hazard of them. In conclusion, despite the many reasons to support that
risk taking
Add a hyphen
risk-taking
show examples
 is advantageous to
people
, I believe it only is when done sensibly.
Submitted by nhuquynhbn2004 on

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introduction conclusion present
Improve the introduction by clearly stating your position on the topic. Establish a brief overview of the advantages and disadvantages of risk-taking.
relevant specific examples
Some examples are clear, but ensure to use more diverse and relevant examples to strengthen your arguments.
logical structure
To improve logical structure, try to seamlessly blend your points and examples to make the essay flow better from one argument to the next.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively reiterates your stance, wrapping up the discussion nicely.
supported main points
The main points are generally clear and well-supported.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are comprehensive and show thoughtful reflection on the subject.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
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