Some people think that one should plan detailed activities for their leisure time, while others disagree with this view. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

some people claim that they should have a
plan
for their
leisure
time
,
while
others disagree with
this
issue. I will discuss both views
as well as
my idea. first of all , I for one , prefer to have a
plan
for my free
time
.
furthermore
, the majority of people like to
plan
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their activities in their
leisure
time
. they have many
resion
Correct your spelling
reasons
for
this
idea ,
such
as preparing facilities ,
reserve
Wrong verb form
reserving
show examples
the hotel and
tell to
Wrong verb form
telling
show examples
their friends to go with them. I believe that when we have a
plan
, we will use our free
time
as well as
possible.
on the other hand
, some people think that
planing
Correct your spelling
planning
show examples
for
leisure
time
is not essential . since they like to go
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
holidays
Fix the agreement mistake
holiday
show examples
without any
planing
Correct your spelling
planning
show examples
. to illustrate they always provide necessary
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
and go through the nurture.
Hence
,
planing
Correct your spelling
planning
show examples
is not crucial and it is
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
of
time
.
moreover
, it may their idea would get
change
Add an article
a change
show examples
on the road. So , it is better that they decide at the moment.
To sum up
, there are many different ideas for planning activities in
leisure
time
.
for example
, better planning or vanish the
time
and as I said , I agree to have an
exceptionaly
Correct your spelling
exceptionally
good
plan
for our free
time
.
Submitted by rastaebrahimifar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To improve task response, ensure you fully address all parts of the task. Try to provide more balanced arguments and elaborate on the points with specific details or examples.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence by using a wider range of linking words and cohesive devices. This will help in connecting ideas more smoothly and logically.
coherence cohesion
Check for grammar and spelling errors. Improving accuracy will lead to clearer expression and better coherence.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and you've addressed both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay is logical, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
Your ideas are relevant to the topic and you have made an effort to support them.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • leisure time
  • detailed activities
  • making the most
  • variety of experiences
  • waste of time
  • over-scheduling
  • spontaneity
  • relaxation
  • increase stress
  • balanced approach
  • impromptu decisions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: