The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is waste of money. Government should invest these funds in public service instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.
The state should emphasize more on allocating resources to public welfare
instead
of entertainment
and culture. While
entertainment
is important for happiness but However
, I strongly believe the public sector should be prioritized.
I believe there are several reasons why spending on public services is important. Firstly
, funds utilized for civil infrastructure enhance the living standards of people
such
as better roads allow
smooth flow of traffic, saving their crucial time and Wrong verb form
allowing
also
help
facilitate commercial activities. Wrong verb form
helping
Secondly
, the development of educational institutions assists young people
in becoming aware of the latest trend
and cutting-edge technologies and ensures that they have successful careers
Fix the agreement mistake
trends
for instance
, Finland have
the reputation of producing the most professionally skilled workforce
in the world since it spends a significant portion of its budget on education.
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
Lastly
, quality health services drastically improve the life expectancy of people
for instance
, Japan has the world oldest population in the world reaching ages up to 90 on average, all because of
highly sophisticated health infrastructure. All the effort that the states put into public welfare ultimately affects people
's approval of the government.
Entertainment
is also
an integral part of life but not a necessity, the state treasury shouldn't be used since it's an individual demand for leisure and only he/she should be liable for its cost. The artifacts
used in museums are unique, costly, and expensive to maintain. Change the spelling
artefacts
This
creates an unwanted burden on the state's resources which could have been used
otherwise
.
In conclusion, While
entertainment
is essential, I strong
argue that public welfare should be Change the adjective
strongly
government's
top priority.Correct article usage
the government's
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introduction conclusion present
Ensure your introduction clearly states your position and outlines the main points you will discuss. This will help guide the reader and strengthen your argument.
logical structure
Clarify the connection between your main points and the overall argument. For instance, explain more explicitly how investment in public services directly affects the quality of life and governmental approval.
clear comprehensive ideas
Proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and enhance readability. For example, remove redundant phrases and improve sentence structure for clarity.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay presents a clear stance on the issue and provides relevant examples to support the argument.
supported main points
The main points are well-elaborated and cover various aspects of public welfare such as infrastructure, education, and healthcare.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.