The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is waste of money. Government should invest these funds in public service instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

#government #investment #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #funds #service

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The state should emphasize more on allocating resources to public welfare

instead

Linking Words

entertainment

Use synonyms

and culture.

While

Linking Words

entertainment

Use synonyms

is important for happiness but

However

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, I strongly believe the public sector should be prioritized. I believe there are several reasons why spending on public services is important.

Firstly

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, funds utilized for civil infrastructure enhance the living standards of

people

Use synonyms

such

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as better roads

allow

Wrong verb form

allowing

show examples

smooth flow of traffic, saving their crucial time and

also

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help

Wrong verb form

helping

show examples

facilitate commercial activities.

Secondly

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, the development of educational institutions assists young

people

Use synonyms

in becoming aware of the latest

trend

Fix the agreement mistake

trends

show examples

and cutting-edge technologies and ensures that they have successful careers

for instance

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, Finland

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

the reputation of producing the most professionally skilled workforce in the world since it spends a significant portion of its budget on education.

Lastly

Linking Words

, quality health services drastically improve the life expectancy of

people

Use synonyms

for instance

Linking Words

, Japan has the world oldest population in the world reaching ages up to 90 on average, all because of highly sophisticated health infrastructure. All the effort that the states put into public welfare ultimately affects

people

Use synonyms

's approval of the government.

Entertainment

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

an integral part of life but not a necessity, the state treasury shouldn't be used since it's an individual demand for leisure and only he/she should be liable for its cost. The

artifacts

Change the spelling

artefacts

show examples

used in museums are unique, costly, and expensive to maintain.

This

Linking Words

creates an unwanted burden on the state's resources which could have been used

otherwise

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. In conclusion,

While

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entertainment

Use synonyms

is essential, I

strong

Change the adjective

strongly

show examples

argue that public welfare should be

government's

Correct article usage

the government's

show examples

top priority.

Submitted by shahroz99dev on Tue Jun 11 2024

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introduction conclusion present

Ensure your introduction clearly states your position and outlines the main points you will discuss. This will help guide the reader and strengthen your argument.

logical structure

Clarify the connection between your main points and the overall argument. For instance, explain more explicitly how investment in public services directly affects the quality of life and governmental approval.

clear comprehensive ideas

Proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and enhance readability. For example, remove redundant phrases and improve sentence structure for clarity.

clear comprehensive ideas

The essay presents a clear stance on the issue and provides relevant examples to support the argument.

supported main points

The main points are well-elaborated and cover various aspects of public welfare such as infrastructure, education, and healthcare.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

9 paragraphs

261 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

social cohesion
tangible benefits
economic growth
national identity
mental health
long-term cultural and emotional well-being
proportional allocation
economic development
diverse voices
immediate societal needs
non-monetary benefits
well-rounded society
stimulate local economies
boost tourism

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Fully explain your ideas

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Using social networks advantages and disadvantages

all cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned and electric car should replace them. Do you agree or disagree ?

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