The chart below shows the percentage of households in owned and rented accomodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011

The chart below shows the percentage of households in owned and rented accomodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011
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The debate over the revolution in the
number
Use synonyms
of options we are offered on a daily basis has sparked considerable controversy.
While
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some people advocate for having numerous choices under any circumstances, I believe that
this
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notion is valid to the degree it does not concern economic context.
To begin
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with, thanks to the rapid advancement of technology, individuals have more job vacancies to explore to see which one they fit in the best.
This
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great opportunity is mainly because Information Technology and Artificial Intelligence have streamlined the workflow, leading to innovation taking the place of manual labour.
Moreover
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, the introduction of the AI field has provided countless academic subjects for students to pursue,
such
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as virtual reality. Importantly,
as a result
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of massive urbanization, modern life contributions go beyond occupational and educational fields and benefit people with an excessive
number
Use synonyms
of options when it comes to accommodation. To illustrate, a comparison between job opportunities, the
number
Use synonyms
of academic courses being offered, and the types of houses in Iran, between 1990 and 2020, illustrated that they had all dramatically risen.
However
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, with the introduction of high-tech professions, local markets will have a massive downturn. By accumulating economic burden in the countryside, they would have a lower chance of acquiring desired aspirations, regardless of the
number
Use synonyms
of choices available. What's more,
due to
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the rapid pace of modern life, countries would do anything to keep up with it and win the fiercely competitive economy revival. Meanwhile,
this
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competition may contribute to rebellion among them;
therefore
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, some inflations or economic constraints may be introduced to some areas which
further
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hinder them from enjoying modern life opportunities. Take Iran as an example; where its residents are suffering from heavy inflation placed by the USA and despite the magnificent accommodations that have been constructed there, folks can barely afford them.
To conclude
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,
although
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some may claim that in the contemporary era, all people are enjoying a wide range of options, I subscribe to the fact that it solely applies to urban areas,
coupled with
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countries without certain economic recessions.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "illustrate" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "rapid" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage
  • households
  • owned accommodation
  • rented accommodation
  • England
  • Wales
  • chart
  • between
  • trends
  • increase
  • decrease
  • fluctuate
  • rise
  • fall
  • peak
  • significant
  • gradual
  • sharp
  • steady
  • dramatic
  • overall
  • range from
  • at the beginning of
  • at the end of
  • over the period
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