Many people these days change career throughout their working life. What are the main reasons for it? Is it a positive or negative development for them personally and for the society as a whole?

#people #change #career #life #development #society

Nowadays, the changing

career

are

Change the verb form

show examples

increasing in these days.

This

career

shifting usually

happen

Correct subject-verb agreement

happens

show examples

in the private sector, as

the

Correct article usage

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result of the increasing

bussiness

Correct your spelling

business

. In my opinion, the reason driven

this

thing is

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

personal satisfaction and chasing the

carrer

Correct your spelling

career

opportunity. First of all,

it is clear that

everyone should work to support their need in life.

However

, since working is a lifetime activity, so there are some

people

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

changing

Wrong verb form

change

show examples

their jobs to the field where they can enjoy the

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

Moreover

, there are some

people

choosing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

jobs where they can have enough time for their personal needs.

This

type of

people

is the workers that choose personal

satisfiction

Correct your spelling

satisfaction

when

decided

Wrong verb form

deciding

show examples

their

career

. The other reason why

people

changing

Wrong verb form

change

show examples

their

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

is about

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

career

opportunities.

Also

, it should be known

that is

career

position

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

with

Change preposition

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the pyramid, where is higher

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

position

implicates to the less

position

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positions

show examples

available. Because of

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

things, some

people

sometimes change their

career

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careers

show examples

to get

the

Correct article usage

show examples

higher

position

from their

last

jobs.

In addition

, the wages that

people

get

usually

Add a missing verb

are usually

show examples

linear with their

chair

Fix the agreement mistake

chairs

show examples

This

type

Add an article

a type

the type

show examples

workers

Fix the agreement mistake

worker

show examples

who

Verb problem

has

show examples

changed their

career

to improve their

position

and to upgrade their salary. In conclusion,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

changing

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

these days is

the

Correct article usage

show examples

normal thing. The main reason is mostly about

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

personal things,

such

as personal satisfaction or even

career

opportunity

Fix the agreement mistake

opportunities

show examples

. And I believe that everyone has their right when they're changing their

career

as long

not

Correct word choice

as not

show examples

causing problems.

Submitted by rlsatria on Tue Jun 11 2024

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task response

To achieve a higher band score, aim to include more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This will help to illustrate your arguments more effectively.

coherence and cohesion

Work on varying your vocabulary and reduce repetition to enhance the readability and flow of your essay. This will help to improve coherence and cohesion.

coherence and cohesion

The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your argument.

task response

You have identified the main reasons for career changes effectively, such as personal satisfaction and career opportunities.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

251 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people these days change career throughout their working life. What are the main reasons for it? Is it a positive or negative development for them personally and for the society as a whole?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Nowadays many elderly people are living alone and this can cause a variety of problems. What are some of these problems, and what solutions can you suggest?

Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. why is this the case? do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some peopel believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes ( for example working for a charity, umproving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger childern. To what extent do you agree or disagree?