Many people these days change career throughout their working life. What are the main reasons for it? Is it a positive or negative development for them personally and for the society as a whole?

Nowadays, the changing
career
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
increasing in these days.
This
career
shifting usually
happen
Correct subject-verb agreement
happens
show examples
in the private sector, as
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
result of the increasing
bussiness
Correct your spelling
business
. In my opinion, the reason driven
this
thing is
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
personal satisfaction and chasing the
carrer
Correct your spelling
career
opportunity. First of all,
it is clear that
everyone should work to support their need in life.
However
, since working is a lifetime activity, so there are some
people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
changing
Wrong verb form
change
show examples
their jobs to the field where they can enjoy the
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
.
Moreover
, there are some
people
choosing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
jobs where they can have enough time for their personal needs.
This
type of
people
is the workers that choose personal
satisfiction
Correct your spelling
satisfaction
when
decided
Wrong verb form
deciding
show examples
their
career
. The other reason why
people
changing
Wrong verb form
change
show examples
their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
is about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
career
opportunities.
Also
, it should be known
that is
career
position
is
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
the pyramid, where is higher
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
position
implicates to the less
position
Fix the agreement mistake
positions
show examples
available. Because of
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
things, some
people
sometimes change their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
to get
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
higher
position
from their
last
jobs.
In addition
, the wages that
people
get
usually
Add a missing verb
are usually
show examples
linear with their
chair
Fix the agreement mistake
chairs
show examples
.
This
is
type
Add an article
a type
the type
show examples
of
workers
Fix the agreement mistake
worker
show examples
who
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
changed their
career
to improve their
position
and to upgrade their salary. In conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
changing
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
these days is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
normal thing. The main reason is mostly about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
personal things,
such
as personal satisfaction or even
career
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
. And I believe that everyone has their right when they're changing their
career
as long
not
Correct word choice
as not
show examples
causing problems.
Submitted by rlsatria on

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task response
To achieve a higher band score, aim to include more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This will help to illustrate your arguments more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Work on varying your vocabulary and reduce repetition to enhance the readability and flow of your essay. This will help to improve coherence and cohesion.
coherence and cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your argument.
task response
You have identified the main reasons for career changes effectively, such as personal satisfaction and career opportunities.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Career transition
  • Job satisfaction
  • Financial incentives
  • Technological advancements
  • Skills obsolescence
  • Job stability
  • Personal fulfillment
  • Work-life balance
  • Career flexibility
  • Life-long learning
  • Social perceptions
  • Economic factors
  • Skill acquisition
  • Professional development
  • Societal trends
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