You have written an article for a magazine about the job that you do. Write a letter to your manager to ask for his or her comments on it: •Explain why you have written this article •Give a short description of what you have written •Specify what particular things you want him or her to comment on.

Dear Sir, I am writing
this
letter to elaborate
the
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on the
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article
of
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on
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Ansys
software
and its applications which was written by myself
at
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apply
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last
week in the magazine of Times. My name is Harry James, I
am
Wrong verb form
have been
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working as a
software
analyst in your organization
from
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for
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last
Correct article usage
the last
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two years.
Firstly
,
last
week I wrote a small
article
for the details and usage of Ansys
software
in the material industry and yesterday it was published in the Times magazine
page
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on page
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number-4.
Secondly
,
this
article
is showing
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shows
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the advantages and application of Ansys
software
in the material industry
also
a small chart
is representing
Wrong verb form
represents
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how
this
software
is working
Wrong verb form
works
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and based on which data input
required
Add a missing verb
is required
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for the calculation of materials strength.
Finally
, as a
manger
Correct your spelling
manager
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of
this
organization, I am requesting
to
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that
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you give some remarks on
this
article
like the
software
process command
also
the load calculation formula because
these kind
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this kind
these kinds
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of comments will give
more
Correct pronoun usage
me more
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ideas
to
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apply
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me
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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and expand my knowledge horizons. Yours faithfully Harry James
Submitted by smsundaram57 on

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction provides more context for non-technical readers. Clarifying why the article is significant can strengthen your task response.
coherence cohesion
Use connector words and phrases to better link your ideas and maintain a smoother flow of information.
coherence cohesion
Refine your paragraphs to focus on individual points—this will help to clearly convey each aspect of your letter.
task achievement
You maintained a formal tone throughout the letter, which is suitable for the audience.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing were appropriately used, enhancing the overall impression of the letter.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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