You have written an article for a magazine about the job that you do. Write a letter to your manager to ask for his or her comments on it: •Explain why you have written this article •Give a short description of what you have written •Specify what particular things you want him or her to comment on.

Dear Sir, I am writing
this
letter to elaborate
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
article
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
Ansys
software
and its applications which was written by myself
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
last
week in the magazine of Times. My name is Harry James, I
am
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
working as a
software
analyst in your organization
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
two years.
Firstly
,
last
week I wrote a small
article
for the details and usage of Ansys
software
in the material industry and yesterday it was published in the Times magazine
page
Change preposition
on page
show examples
number-4.
Secondly
,
this
article
is showing
Wrong verb form
shows
show examples
the advantages and application of Ansys
software
in the material industry
also
a small chart
is representing
Wrong verb form
represents
show examples
how
this
software
is working
Wrong verb form
works
show examples
and based on which data input
required
Add a missing verb
is required
show examples
for the calculation of materials strength.
Finally
, as a
manger
Correct your spelling
manager
show examples
of
this
organization, I am requesting
to
Change preposition
that
show examples
you give some remarks on
this
article
like the
software
process command
also
the load calculation formula because
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
of comments will give
more
Correct pronoun usage
me more
show examples
ideas
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
me
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
and expand my knowledge horizons. Yours faithfully Harry James
Submitted by smsundaram57 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that your introduction provides more context for non-technical readers. Clarifying why the article is significant can strengthen your task response.
coherence cohesion
Use connector words and phrases to better link your ideas and maintain a smoother flow of information.
coherence cohesion
Refine your paragraphs to focus on individual points—this will help to clearly convey each aspect of your letter.
task achievement
You maintained a formal tone throughout the letter, which is suitable for the audience.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing were appropriately used, enhancing the overall impression of the letter.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: