Some people believe that success in sports depends on physical ability while others believe that there are more important factors involved in success in sports. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

A number of individuals stated that
with
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apply
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only physical abilities can bring
success
because it is widely thought by these people that only
skillful
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skilful
show examples
players
have a good influence on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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certain
sector
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sectors
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of sport
whereas
those opposed
this
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to this
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assumes
Wrong verb form
assume
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that there are more major keys that lead to
success
in these.
This
author thinks the same with the latter statement
due to
the fact that not only a certain aspect can make way for
success
. It is widely believed that leading to a
successfully
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successful
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sporting career requires a bulk of aspects. By way of explanation, without
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
communication
skills
, it attributes
players
as bad
sport
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sports
show examples
athletes and may affect
to
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apply
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their reputation.
In addition
, dedication will
also
plays
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play
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a crucial role in gaining fame which is one of the effective methods of leading to
success
. Vietnamese football
players
,
for example
, with admirable
skills
they had, henceforth, eventually ended up in jail
due to
betting illegally,
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
, strongly
affect
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affected
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to
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apply
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their fame. There is a multitude of citizens
Correct pronoun usage
who stated
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stated
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state
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success
only stems from personal abilities.
This
is because only when sensational
skills
are performed in sporting games seem
like
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apply
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eye-catching to viewers.
This
may be an opportunity for the industry of sports, but
with
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apply
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
beliefs can clearly
affected
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affect
be affected
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to
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apply
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players
,
this
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and this
show examples
may make way for notorious
scandal
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scandals
show examples
in
sport
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sports
show examples
games. In turn, the sporting associations,
teams
Correct word choice
and teams
show examples
will be fully affected and criticised. Taking everything into consideration, though a number of residents think
success
only stems from personal
skills
while
others
suggests
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suggest
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it doesn't come
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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas across the essay. The transitions between points could be smoother and more logically connected.
task achievement
Be sure to fully develop each main point with clear explanations and more detailed examples where relevant.
coherence cohesion
Revise the conclusion to ensure it fully summarizes the main points discussed and restates your opinion clearly.
task achievement
The essay attempts to address both views on the topic and provides an opinion, fulfilling the basic requirements of the task.
task achievement
Some relevant and specific examples, such as the Vietnamese football players, help to illustrate the points made.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Athletic prowess
  • Endurance
  • Agility
  • Mental fortitude
  • Psychological resilience
  • Strategic thinking
  • Tactical acumen
  • Team dynamics
  • Elite levels
  • Training regimen
  • Nutritional intake
  • Recovery practices
  • Competitive edge
  • Natural talent
  • Performance enhancement
  • Under pressure
  • Bounce back from setbacks
  • Quality coaching
  • Facilities access
  • Hard work and dedication
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