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Writing Samples
Band 7

The bart chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarize the information by selecting the main features, and make comparison where relevant

The bart chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarize the information by selecting the main features, and make comparison where relevant
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The bar chart illustrates the average weekly spending by families based on their earnings in the span of five decades (1968 and 2018).
Overall
Linking Words
, the amount of spending in the recent year
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 been more equally distributed between the categories. In the year 1968, the money spent on food took up the highest portion of 35%,
while
Linking Words
 the other classifications were drastically far from that percentage.
Secondly
Linking Words
, housing, clothing and
footware
Correct your spelling
footwear
 took 10% of the family's income. Next in place were the output on leisure at 9% and household
goods
Use synonyms
, personal
goods
Use synonyms
, and transport sitting at 8% of the weekly earnings.
Lastly
Linking Words
, fuel and power held the lowest average of 6% compared to the other
datas
Correct your spelling
data
. Recently in 2018, the need for leisure grew drastically and it became the largest percentage of spending at 22%.
Similarly
Linking Words
, housing was at 19%, which multiplied twice the portion from the previous period given.
While
Linking Words
 the output on food was cut back twice the amount to 17%, clothing and
footware
Correct your spelling
footwear
 to 5%, personal
goods
Use synonyms
 to 4% and transport to 8%.
Lastly
Linking Words
, the percentage of earnings spent on household
goods
Use synonyms
 remained the same.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "lastly, while".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words goods with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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