Some say that it would be better if the majority of employees worked from home instead of travelling to a workplace every day. Do you think the advantages of working from home outweigh the disadvantages?
After the pandemic, the revolution
on
the working system enabled the choice Change preposition
in
for
working remotely. Change preposition
of
While
many employees considers
Change the verb form
consider
this
an efficient choice, some others think differently. This
essay will support the idea that the advantages of this
method does
outweigh the disadvantages.
Change the verb form
do
Initially
, the pandemic forced companies to stop working from the office and opted for remote working using online conferences such
as Zoom and Google Meets. In most recent years, this
method is
applied in most companies, visibly proven by job offers through Linked In that prefer remote working Wrong verb form
has been
staffs
. Fix the agreement mistake
staff
While
most employees consider online meeting
as the most effective use of Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
time
, the seniors who are less technology savvy thinks
that Correct subject-verb agreement
think
this
form of communication lack
of human touch, which Correct subject-verb agreement
lacks
reduced
their working experience. Wrong verb form
reduces
Furthermore
, most workers who do not own a proper mic and camera is
prone to inhibiting a Correct subject-verb agreement
are
smooth sailing
meeting session.
Add a hyphen
smooth-sailing
However
, majority
of workers feel that by spending less Correct article usage
the majority
time
on traffic or commuters, they can allocate the time
to do more useful things such
as completing tasks to meet the deadline. Moreover
, the average traffic at
a capital city Change preposition
in
such
as Jakarta,
usually takes around two to three hours on a busy day, and about the same for those using public transport, causing road rage and negative energy at work. Remove the comma
apply
In contrast
, employees that
benefit from managing their own Correct pronoun usage
who
time
and task handling by working remotely,
Remove the comma
apply
tends
to have a better energy for work in a more relaxed choice of workplace. Positively, Change the verb form
tend
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
that
are given the freedom to choose their most effective Correct pronoun usage
who
time
and place for completing assignments are proven to be more creative and productive. A possible solution for senior workers that
are not tech savvyCorrect pronoun usage
who
,
is that they choose to Remove the comma
apply
be working
from the office, and have Wrong verb form
work
an
assistance to communicate with Remove the article
apply
majority
of the staff Add an article
the majority
a majority
that
are working remotely.
In conclusion, companies that Correct pronoun usage
who
sets
up remote working will receive advantages Change the verb form
set
such
as a better use of time
and enhance
Wrong verb form
enhanced
employee's
productivity to meet Change noun form
employee
the
deadlines.Correct article usage
apply
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grammar
Ensure consistent verb agreement to avoid confusion. For example, 'While many employees considers' should be 'While many employees consider' and 'this method is applied' should be 'this method has been applied'.
style
Include more varied sentence structures to improve readability and flow. For example, instead of repeating 'while', try using other conjunctions like 'whereas' or 'although'.
evidence
Add more specific examples and data to support points made, especially when discussing the disadvantages and potential solutions. This strengthens arguments and adds credibility.
content
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both the advantages and disadvantages of working from home.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are clearly marked, setting a solid framework for the essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?