IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. What might be the cases? What could be the disadvantage of being self-employed?

#people #work #company #organization #cases
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Thesedays
Correct your spelling
These days
, a growing number of people tend to have businesses by themselves, rather than stay
a
Change preposition
in a
show examples
company or organization. In my
opinon
Correct your spelling
opinion
,
this
 trend may be caused by the variety of working style choices and some drawbacks including insecurity of salary and fringe benefits would be raised in self-employed businesses. One of the most attractive factors to have individuals' own shops will be its flexibility and variety. There
is
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are
show examples
 no regulations and
ristrictions
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restrictions
 to open a shop or
business
although
 owners should obey some governmental and legal frameworks.
Therefore
,each employer can decide
Change preposition
on a
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
desig
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design
 of stores,
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
loacation
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location
,
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 working time and what materials he or she
deal
Correct subject-verb agreement
deals
show examples
 with.
This
 freedom is fascinating for some people who
wants
Change the verb form
want
show examples
 to have
theri
Correct your spelling
their
 own
business
 and dislike to obey others.
However
, dreaming of
beign
Correct your spelling
being
 self-employed may have some positive aspects.
Firstly
, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a lot of tasks in running a
business
. Managing a company by oneself seems to have some troubles
such
 as gathering funds from banks,
negatiating
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negotiating
 with other companies, and paying regular tenant fees.
These
Correct determiner usage
This
show examples
 additional work must be
respossible
Correct your spelling
responsible
 for an owner.
Secondly
, self-employers may face a risk of unstable income. If sales of her or his shop drop dramatically, the
ower
Correct your spelling
owner
show examples
 will
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
 inadequate salary for continuing it.
Moreover
, a heavy debt may be burdened on him or her. In
conlusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, a self-employed
business
 style has gained in popularity recently.
Although
this
 fashion is attractive for some ambitious
business
 persons, there are several disadvantages
such
 as numerous tasks relating
Change preposition
to managements
show examples
managements
Fix the agreement mistake
management
show examples
 and
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
job insecurity.
Submitted by atsutaka_aratame on

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Grammar
Work on correcting the minor spelling and grammatical mistakes to improve clarity and coherence of your thoughts.
Examples
Include more specific examples to support your points, as this will strengthen your arguments and make them more compelling.
Task Response
Ensure consistency in addressing both parts of the question thoroughly, especially regarding the disadvantages of being self-employed.
Structure
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion.
Content
The points made about the flexibility and variety of self-employment versus the security and benefits of employment are relevant and well-articulated.
Language
The language used is appropriate for the topic and task, and the essay covers the essential aspects requested in the prompt.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • autonomy
  • align
  • flexibility
  • work-life balance
  • productivity
  • advancements in technology
  • entrepreneurial spirit
  • financial rewards
  • constraints
  • employee benefits
  • administrative tasks
  • financial instability
  • job insecurity
What to do next:
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