Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thity years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam'. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?
Using
car
has increased Fix the agreement mistake
cars
much
rapidly in three Correct quantifier usage
apply
recently
decades and it causes traffic Change the word
recent
jam
in many cities in the world. So , Fix the agreement mistake
jams
government
should solve Add an article
the government
this
problem to prevent to use
Change preposition
of car
car
among Fix the agreement mistake
cars
people
. I will explain what should governments
do for
Change preposition
about
this
issue.
To begin
with , almost most people
use
their cars
every day approximately
,Rephrase
apply
Although
public transportation
has improved recently. Hence
, this
issue create
a wide variety of Change the verb form
creates
cars
in the street and it causes traffic and pollution in the world. It is clear that
governments
should rise
the price of petrol Correct your spelling
raise
as well as
tax on people
's cars
. Although
there are many wealth's
Change noun form
wealth
people
that
do not pay attention to these issues , it can Correct pronoun usage
who
effective
to decrease Add a missing verb
be effective
use
Correct article usage
the use
their
Change preposition
of their
cars
. Thus
, they encourage to use
public
Change preposition
of public
transportation
on a daily basis.
On the other hand
, governments
should have a good plan for transportation
. For instance
, organizations should provide some facilities for people
, such
as fast vehicles , convenience chairs and available public transportation
around the clock. Moreover
, people
should can to
Wrong verb form
apply
use
public transportation
to illustrate , train
, Correct subject-verb agreement
trains
bus
or Fix the agreement mistake
buses
airplane
Fix the agreement mistake
airplanes
according to
their needs with low prices.
To sum up
, there are many solutions for decrease
traffic Change the verb form
decreasing
jam
in the cities that Fix the agreement mistake
jams
it
can be Correct pronoun usage
apply
solve
Wrong verb form
solved
with
increasing Change preposition
by
tax
. Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
By contrast
, it is necessary that governments
make more convenience
facilities for citizens.Replace the word
convenient
Submitted by rastaebrahimifar on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic, but more specific examples would strengthen your arguments. For instance, you can mention specific cities that have implemented different measures to reduce traffic congestion.
coherence cohesion
There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that make some sentences hard to follow. Try to review your grammar and sentence structure to improve readability.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph should focus on a single idea to enhance clarity. Currently, some paragraphs have multiple ideas that may confuse the reader. Clear paragraphing will make your essay more cohesive.
coherence cohesion
You have clearly stated your viewpoint and provided a decent structure with introduction and conclusion paragraphs.
task achievement
Your essay covers some sensible measures that can be taken by the government to reduce car usage.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.