IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that exercise is the key to health while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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These days, society
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 two opinions about being healthy:
Use synonyms
exercises
Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
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 and
balanced
Correct article usage
a balanced
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diet
Use synonyms
. But what is the most effective method for dealing with
insalubrious
Correct article usage
an insalubrious
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 lifestyle? Some people believe that
Use synonyms
exercises
Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
show examples
 or
balanced
Correct article usage
a balanced
show examples
diet
Use synonyms
the
Add a missing verb
is the
show examples
 only one approach
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 is the key
of
Change preposition
to
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 being healthy. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both sides of the
arguments
Fix the agreement mistake
argument
show examples
 and draw a conclusion where I will tell you my own opinion. First of all, any activity
affect
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affects
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
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many factors of your health.
For example
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, if you go to run outside,
this
Linking Words
 cardio makes your heart
feels
Correct subject-verb agreement
feel
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 better and be hardy. In other cases, you do
exercises
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 in the gym. It will make you stronger and your body won’t
be looks
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look
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 skinny. If you don’t do any movements
then
Linking Words
 your body will make some stressful loads to itself
such
Linking Words
 as diseases.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there is a common belief that a balanced
diet
Use synonyms
the
Add a missing verb
is the
show examples
 most important thing to be salubrious.
For instance
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,
instead
Linking Words
 of eating fatty
food
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food,
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 you can organize it by
time
Add an article
the time
a time
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 when you will eat it, and have healthier meals,
thus
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 you won’t have any problems with obesity.
As a result
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, salubrious meals
also
Linking Words
 can be the key to health. In conclusion,
although
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 it is common thought that exist
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
only one method of being healthy. I believe that someday people won’t have any problems with health but nowadays it
is seems
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seems
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 like the only dream that never comes true.
Personally
Add a comma
Personally,
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 I think, that there are no unique methods of being healthy. It is
a
Remove the article
apply
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hard work there you should combine two approaches
such
Linking Words
 as
Use synonyms
exercises
Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
show examples
 and
balanced
Correct article usage
a balanced
show examples
diet
Use synonyms
 and only
this
Linking Words
 one will increase your chances
to be
Change preposition
of being
show examples
 healthy.

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task achievement
Your essay presents both perspectives and provides a conclusion. However, you should aim to enhance the clarity and depth of your arguments by providing more detailed and specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of your ideas. Ensure that your arguments and examples are presented in a cohesive manner. Use transitional phrases to smoothly guide the reader through your points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, which are essential components of a well-structured essay.
task achievement
You address both perspectives and include your own opinion in the conclusion, which is key to fulfilling the task requirements.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cardiovascular health
  • Metabolism
  • Chronic diseases
  • Immune system
  • Mental well-being
  • Nutrients
  • Malnutrition
  • Obesity
  • Type 2 diabetes
  • Circulation
  • Nutrient distribution
  • Preventive health
  • Energy levels
  • Balanced diet
  • Essential nutrients
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