Some people believe that reading stories from e-book better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Presently,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern life
was
Verb problem
has
show examples
expanded a lot of technology systems and it
also
easier for people to approach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these facilities,especially is for
children
.
This
essay will agree that
children
should use
e-book
Fix the agreement mistake
e-books
show examples
to improve their
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
and develop
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their skills. On the one hand,
e-book
Add an article
the e-book
an e-book
show examples
is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
good system for
children
to
reading
Replace the word
read
show examples
stories.
This
is because,
this
system will support
childs
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
to provide more
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
of news,learning
english
Change the capitalization
English
show examples
and searching
Change preposition
for informations
show examples
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
.
Besides
that,
e-book
Fix the agreement mistake
e-books
show examples
also
have an affordable price for people to use and it
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
very convenient to
reading
Wrong verb form
read
show examples
anytime,anywhere.
E-book
Fix the agreement mistake
E-books
show examples
often appear
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
,
tablet
Fix the agreement mistake
tablets
show examples
or
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
and
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
can
install
Wrong verb form
be installed
show examples
in
appstore
Correct your spelling
App Store
or
ch-play
Correct your spelling
Chrome
show examples
so
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
will
free
Add a missing verb
be free
show examples
on these devices.
On the other hand
, others argue that
children
should
watching
Change the verb form
watch
be watching
show examples
TV or
playing
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
video games to improve their
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
.
It
Add a verb
It is
It was
show examples
both right and wrong because in harmful,it will
addicted
Change the verb form
be addicted
addict
show examples
to those devices from
children
and
affected
Wrong verb form
affect
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their visual and
heath
Correct your spelling
health
show examples
.
In benefit
Change preposition
Benefit
show examples
, it will practise reflex skills for
children
and
also
entertain to
childs
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
after school time and reduce their
stressful
Replace the word
stress
show examples
. In conclusion, the studies of
childs
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
have a lot of systems and devices to study and improve their learning skills. The studies of
children
mostly depend on
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
and study cases so
children
can concentrate on
studies
Correct pronoun usage
their studies
show examples
.
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coherence cohesion
Your essay addresses the topic, but it needs to be more structured. Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that these ideas are logically sequenced.
coherence cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are present, they lack a bit of clarity. Strengthen these sections by clearly stating your position and summarizing your key points in the conclusion.
task achievement
Try to offer more detailed and specific examples to support your points. For instance, explain how exactly e-books aid learning or how TV can be detrimental.
coherence cohesion
Avoid using informal language like 'e-book is the good system'; instead, use more formal expressions such as 'e-books are beneficial for children because...'
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are grammatically incorrect or awkward. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and proper article usage. For example, 'e-book also have' should be 'e-books also have' and 'easier for people to approach' should be 'easier for people to access'.
task achievement
You are able to make a clear argument regarding the advantages and disadvantages of e-books, TV, and video games for children.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates an understanding of the impact of modern technology on children’s education and entertainment.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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