IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table shows the information about medical care in three European countries between 1980 and 2000.

The table shows the information about medical care in three European countries between 1980 and 2000.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Contained in the table is information pertaining to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health care in three different European nations from 1980 to 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the figures for
Sweden
Use synonyms
 in all aspects were significantly higher than that of
Austria
Use synonyms
 and
France
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the number of hospital
beds
Use synonyms
 witnessed a considerable change compared to doctors and the average stay times in hospitals.
To begin
Linking Words
, in 1980,
Sweden
Use synonyms
 had 3.6 physicians and 6.4 hospital
beds
Use synonyms
 per 1000
people
Use synonyms
, the average stay was
also
Linking Words
 23
days
Use synonyms
.
Austria
Use synonyms
 had fewer figures for hospital
beds
Use synonyms
 per 1000
people
Use synonyms
, at 1.4,
while
Linking Words
 the number of hospital
beds
Use synonyms
 in
France
Use synonyms
 was the lowest, at 0.2 per 1000 population.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the average stay in hospitals in
Austria
Use synonyms
 was
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
twice that of
France
Use synonyms
 for 18 and 9
days
Use synonyms
, respectively. In 2000, the number of physicians in
Austria
Use synonyms
 and
Sweden
Use synonyms
 saw an increase up to 1 and 3.8 per 1000
people
Use synonyms
 respectively,
while
Linking Words
 the opposite was true for
France
Use synonyms
, which decreased to 1.3 per 1000
people
Use synonyms
. All three countries surged dramatically for hospital
beds
Use synonyms
, with 3.7 in
Austria
Use synonyms
, 1.6 in
France
Use synonyms
 and 6.9 in
Sweden
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the average time in hospitals of three categories experienced a decrease, with 8
days
Use synonyms
 in
Austria
Use synonyms
, 5
days
Use synonyms
 in
France
Use synonyms
 and 21
days
Use synonyms
 in
Sweden
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words sweden, austria, france, beds, people, days with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stay" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Healthcare
  • Healthcare expenditure
  • Life expectancy
  • Medical technology
  • Government spending
  • Population health
  • Access to medical care
  • Healthcare policies
  • Economic climate
  • Inflation rates
  • Gross Domestic Product (GDP)
  • Urbanization
  • Demographics
  • Public health
  • Quality of care
  • Preventive medicine
  • Chronic diseases
  • Healthcare infrastructure
  • Universal health coverage
What to do next:
Look at other essays: