More and more young people are using drugs and alcohol and as a result, breaking the law. What are the causes of this problem? What are some possible solutions?

#people #drugs #alcohol #law

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Young

Add an article

The young

show examples

generation is vital for the development of all countries in the world.

However

Linking Words

, there is

higher

Add an article

a higher

the higher

show examples

number of addictive people or crimes from that group. By analysing the root causes from influences of

economical

Replace the word

economic

show examples

condition and

repsonsibilities

Correct your spelling

responsibilities

of families,

this

Linking Words

essay attempts to suggest some

feassible

Correct your spelling

feasible

approaches to mitigate

given

Correct article usage

the given

show examples

phenomenon.

Firstly

Linking Words

, we should

see

Verb problem

look

show examples

directly into the fact that fresh graduates

is having

Wrong verb form

have had

show examples

low

Add an article

a low

the low

show examples

figure of employment rate in recent years. The lower

number

Correct article usage

the number

show examples

of chances to find a job, the higher

possibility

Correct article usage

the possibility

show examples

that young ones could fall into addiction as the

desparated

Correct your spelling

desperate

way to escape from hopeless

situation

Fix the agreement mistake

situations

show examples

For example

Linking Words

, when someone is living in poverty, they could be a

theif

Correct your spelling

thief

and

then

Linking Words

steal money from others. The solution

for

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

factor is doable if we could find more jobs for younger workers. That only happens when they have better preparation for skills and knowledge to be more

competive

Correct your spelling

competitive

labour

Add an article

the labour

show examples

market.

Hence

Linking Words

, more investment

for

Change preposition

show examples

education should be considered by our dear leaders.

Secondly

Linking Words

, the increase in

divorce

Add an article

the divorce

show examples

rate, especially in developed nations, could be related to

mentioned

Add an article

a mentioned

the mentioned

show examples

social problem.

The

Correct article usage

show examples

childhood that lacked

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

care and attention from parents could get immature minds to expose with bad habits and tend

Change preposition

apply

show examples

against surrounding communities.

For instance

Linking Words

, without proper education, they may believe that using drugs or alcohol is not as bad as it should be. To cope with

this

Linking Words

cause, I suggest that the involvement of families is the key

drivers

Fix the agreement mistake

driver

show examples

to prevent addiction and reduce

criminal

Add an article

the criminal

show examples

rate from that group.

Instead

Linking Words

of spending too much time in

workplace

Add an article

the workplace

show examples

, both parents should talk more with their children and

then

Linking Words

immediately give them

advises

Replace the word

advice

show examples

whenever they

need

Correct pronoun usage

need it

show examples

While

Linking Words

the unwanted situation for

lower

Add an article

the lower

a lower

show examples

age group is increasing, there is more demand to have quick reactions to stop that tendency. Personally, I have

strong

Correct article usage

a strong

show examples

belief

for

Change preposition

that

show examples

Correct article usage

the next

show examples

generation if we grant them better conditions for their development

Submitted by dinhthong1902 on Wed Jun 12 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Try to clarify your ideas more explicitly, especially when discussing solutions. Make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea and sticks to it.

coherence cohesion

Improve transitions between different parts of the essay. Make each paragraph flow smoothly into the next to maintain coherence.

coherence cohesion

Include a more detailed introduction and conclusion to frame your arguments better. Summarize your main points briefly at the end.

task achievement

Use specific examples to support your points. Instead of general statements, include concrete examples or statistics to back up your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps in maintaining coherence.

task achievement

The essay addresses both causes and solutions to the problem, showing a complete response to the task.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

320 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You are renting a flat from an agency. Your contract was for one year but you need to leave the flat two months early. Write a letter to the agency. In your letter * introduce yourself * ask to leave the flat before the contract finishes * explain why you need to break the contract.
I am writing this letter to inform you that I want to leave the flat next month. I present the details in this letter.
6
band
Some people argue that young people are unfit for holding significant positions in the government, while others maintain that it is beneficial for them to occupy such roles. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In recent decades, running the country has been predominantly considered a task for the elderly. Today, the trend is for an increasing number of young people to hold government positions. While most people believe that it should not be done, many others consider it to be a common practice. In my opinion, leadership should be left in the hands of young people.
6
band
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People learn things better from those at their own level—such as fellow students or co-workers—than from those at a higher level, such as teachers or supervisors. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Adolescence is a time of rapid physical, emotional, and cognitive development. During adolescence, teenagers are exposed to a wealth of new and confusing changes that greatly impact their paths in life. The development that occurs during this time are highly influential and can create lasting effects. Changes that happen during adolescence include: physical changes, cognitive development, and new school environments.
5
band
In many countries, people decide to have children at a later age than in the past. Why? Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In recent years, people tend to bear a baby later than in the past in several nations. While late childbearing may bring about some benefits, I believe this trend would do more harm than good.
7
band
Many museums charge admission fees while others are free. Do the advantages of charging people to visit a museum outweigh the disadvantages?
Recently, a rising number of museums have reportedly commenced charging for entry even though other museums remain free entry. This essay will suggest that requiring entrance fees presents advantages that far outweigh its downsides.

More and more young people are using drugs and alcohol and as a result, breaking the law. What are the causes of this problem? What are some possible solutions?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people argue that young people are unfit for holding significant positions in the government, while others maintain that it is beneficial for them to occupy such roles. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People learn things better from those at their own level—such as fellow students or co-workers—than from those at a higher level, such as teachers or supervisors. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

In many countries, people decide to have children at a later age than in the past. Why? Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Many museums charge admission fees while others are free. Do the advantages of charging people to visit a museum outweigh the disadvantages?