Nowdays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? what are the effects on society?
With an ever-increasing concern about how to handle the imbalance of choosing university
majors
globally, some individuals
may have opined that this
trend
would result in negative outcomes for the entire society
. This
essay will, however
, provide some reasons why I firmly believe that these circumstances will actually cause social problems due to
some reasons.
To begin
with, some individuals
may argue the trend
where individuals
prefer not to choose science
will negatively affect society
. From the perspective of students
, they have been suffering from a high level of academic difficulty in science
majors
and financial burden on them from tuition fees due to
the circumstances where students
need to attend longer periods of education in science
-related majors
in university. Therefore
, they can actually be benefited
from choosing other Wrong verb form
benefit
majors
to finish education in a shorter period, and it leads to a phenomenon where universities do not have enough students
studying science
majors
. Furthermore
, compared to random nations without the given trend
, those countries with a reasonable tuition rate and shorter periods of education in science
majors
have shown an increased tendency to choose science
majors
.
In spite of the reasons mentioned above, I strongly contend that this
trend
will ultimately deteriorate the entire society
in the long term. Providing a few agreements on previous arguments, moving to private corporations can illuminate a different perspective.
The highest priority of them is to maximize their profit to operate properly and yield societal benefits, where they contribute to the entire economy of the society
in the form of increased employment.
This
consequently
demonstrates that they will face a lack of human infrastructure even with increased employment, therefore
, they should be funded financially by the government to fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
labor
forces to conquer economic growth.
Change the spelling
labour
Moreover
, governments can activate generalized solutions for all the parties in the economy. In other words
, collected taxes can be used to provide educational lessons and tangible provisions or infrastructure to solve this
issue.
In conclusion, some individuals
argue that students
not choosing science
majors
in university will bring negative outcomes globally. Nevertheless
, I completely believe that solving this
issue will require more consideration and thus
most relevant parties in society
should be entirely involved for more sustainable advantages.Submitted by rachael0124 on
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task achievement
The essay provides a clear response to the task and addresses both reasons and effects. However, some ideas could be more clearly articulated, and a few points are not fully developed. Consider providing more specific examples and explanations to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a good logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. Nevertheless, the flow of ideas can be improved by ensuring smooth transitions between some points. Try to create more seamless connections between paragraphs and ensure that each paragraph logically follows from the previous one.
coherence cohesion
While main points are supported, the support could be stronger with more concrete examples. Some paragraphs may feel a bit repetitive or lack depth. Develop each point more thoroughly and avoid redundancy to enhance coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the discussion well and summarizing the main points effectively.
task achievement
The response addresses both the reasons for and the effects of the issue, showing a good understanding of the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
There is an attempt to present a balanced view by acknowledging counterarguments and then refuting them.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.