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Writing Samples
Band 4

The Percentage of Female Members of Parliament in 5 European Countries

#percentage #members #parliament #european #countries
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The provided line graph illustrates the proportion of members who are female in parliament in five different European nations over the course
12
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of 12
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 years, starting from 2000. From an
overall
 perspective, there was an increase in the percentage of parliamentary members who are women in all the five countries examined,with the UK witnessing the most dramatic rise.
However
,it constantly/generally/consistently had the lowest figures throughout the period shown. The ratio of women holding parliamentary positions in Germany was about 34%, after which it experienced a slight rise to approximately 36% in 2012. Similar changes, but to greater extents, can be seen in the figures for Italy and the UK, which grew from 26% to nearly 40% and about 4% to just over 27% respectively. Approximately 25%
members
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of members
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in
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of
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 France’s parliament were women,with a subsequent increase and reached a peak of nearly 37% in 2004, before ending the period at around 32%.
On the contrary
, the figure for Belgium started at nearly 17% in 2000 to just under 29% in 2004 and levelled off/remained almost unchanged/stayed almost stable towards the end of the period.

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the scope and the time frame of the data being discussed. This was mostly achieved, but clarity is key.
coherence cohesion
Standardize your terminology; for example, use either 'members of parliament' or 'parliamentary members' consistently throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Include a clearer conclusion to sum up your findings and provide a final perspective on the data.
task achievement
Good use of specific data points and percentages to support your main points, demonstrating strong understanding of the data.
coherence cohesion
Your essay generally had a logical flow, with each country discussed in turn. Good job!
task achievement
The essay successfully identified key trends and notable changes in the data.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • parliament
  • gender equality
  • trends
  • percentage
  • significant progress
  • minimal progress
  • yearly analysis
  • country-specific
  • events
  • elections
  • policies
  • initiatives
  • speculating
  • predictive
  • representation
  • tracking
  • issues
  • addressing
What to do next:
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