The diagrams below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called salmon. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called salmon.

Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features and  make comparisons where relevant.
The diagrams illustrate the life
cycle
of a
salmon
, highlighting the growth in three different phases:
fry
, smolt, and adult
salmon
.
Overall
, the life
cycle
of a
salmon
involves several transformations that occur in three different places of the water body.
Initially
, the creature begins its life
cycle
from a
salmon
egg
that is
hidden in between small stones and reeds of a
slow moving
Add a hyphen
slow-moving
show examples
river
, specifically in the upper
river
area for around five to six months. Afterwards, the eggs hatch into a
fry
where the species is now approximately 3-8 centimetres. The
fry
then
move
Change the verb form
moves
show examples
to the lower area of the
river
where water flows more rapidly and
remain
Correct subject-verb agreement
remains
show examples
there for about four years. During
this
time, the
fry
grows into a smolt, reaching a body length of 12-15 centimetres.
Then
, the smolt migrates onto an open sea area where it continues to develop for five years,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
eventually transforming into an adult
salmon
with an impressive size of 70-75 centimetres. The
cycle
repeats itself when the adult
salmon
lay
Wrong verb form
lays
show examples
its eggs on the upper
river
.
Submitted by kelly on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words cycle, salmon, fry, river with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: