Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful than those countries which do not have a long working time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

I do not believe that each country which is working more, is more successful in its economy
also
I explain the deal of my disagreement in
this
essay. Working a lot or for
long
Change the article
a long
show examples
time
always it is not
helpfull
Correct your spelling
helpful
or being positive. nowadays
people
have
achived
Correct your spelling
achieved
huge success
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
inteligently
Correct your spelling
intelligently
intelligent
activities. Working less with
higher
Add an article
the higher
show examples
quality
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is helping
people
to
more
Add a missing verb
be more
show examples
success
Replace the word
successful
show examples
in
economic
Add an article
the economic
show examples
matter
Fix the agreement mistake
matters
show examples
and earning money in
eddition
Correct your spelling
education
,
peopleare
Correct your spelling
people are
people
be able to change their job so that they do not need
work
Fix the infinitive
to work
show examples
hard.
Fore
Correct your spelling
For
show examples
example
instead
of using farmers they could the machines which do the same work. New objects that are made for solving problems
people
are getting more and more
todays
Correct your spelling
today
. Some machines and robots that are invented
fore
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
people
to be more comfortable and they do
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
things without difficulties give society
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
apportunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
to have a really fantastic source of income namely, running websites and selling online by using
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
robots.
On the other hand
, there are always
exceptations
Correct your spelling
exceptions
expectations
and we can not
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
shut our eyes on
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
,
somethimes
Correct your spelling
sometimes
working more
time
can be so effective
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
some countries and
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
economy or even some situations needs
hard working
Add a hyphen
hard-working
show examples
instead
of
inteligently
Correct your spelling
intelligently
working
fore
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
eaxample
Correct your spelling
example
when
time
limmitation
Correct your spelling
limitation
limitations
is exist
Change the verb form
is existed
show examples
and a country have to send a lot of oil production for it`s
neighboring
Change the spelling
neighbouring
show examples
country have no choices
instead
of working all the
time
before
time
`s up their
countract
Correct your spelling
contract
. Generally, working a lot is not a really good decision to being successful in
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
for countries evendough they can work in a way
that is
easy so that anybody not to be exhausted
may
Verb problem
apply
show examples
in some specific situation.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
To improve the task response, make sure to clearly map out the points you want to discuss in the introduction. Conclude the essay with a summary of these points, reinforcing your argument.
coherence
Enhance coherence by using clear transitional phrases between paragraphs and ensuring each paragraph flows logically from one to the next. For instance, connect ideas within and between paragraphs more explicitly.
supported main points
Support your main points with specific and relevant examples to strengthen your arguments. Provide concrete evidence and case studies when stating general opinions or observations.
grammar vocabulary
Proofread your essay for spelling and grammar errors. This will improve clarity and readability.
logical structure
Organize your essay with clear paragraphs, each focusing on a single main idea. This will greatly enhance readability.
task response
The essay introduces the main argument and provides reasons for the disagreement, which is a good starting point.
introduction conclusion present
You have included a conclusion, which is essential to wrap up your essay and restate your main points.
relevant specific examples
You attempted to use examples to illustrate your points, which is an important aspect of essay writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic success
  • working hours
  • productivity
  • sustainable development
  • work-life balance
  • labor laws
  • efficiency
  • gross domestic product (GDP)
  • burnout
  • occupational health
  • technological innovation
  • industrialized nations
  • emerging economies
  • workforce
  • competitiveness
  • workplace culture
  • employee turnover
  • quality of life
What to do next:
Look at other essays: